Posts Tagged ‘Bad Movie

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30
Nov
23

Summer Rental (1985)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Cult Classic, Racing, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , ,

Date watched: 11/30/23

Starring: John Candy, Rip Torn, Richard Crenna, Joey Lawrence, John Larroquette, Kerri “Goonies Green

Plot:

An overworked air-traffic controller takes his family on a beach vacation but is soon beset by series of mishaps.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • John Candy grumbling/frustrated
  • John Candy injures himself

Quotes:

  • “Your nose would show up on a satellite photo.”
  • “Oh no sweetheart you didn’t wet your bed… you wet their bed.”
  • “That guy looks like John Madden.”
  • “Yeah, you big fart!”
  • “What can I get you?… How about drunk.”
  • “Dad, you’re going to sail a fish restaurant?”
  • “We got beat by a restaurant wearing pants!”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “That Mr. Mouth to Mouth is a real scum bag.”
  • “Rip Torn as a pirate is my favorite character in this movie.  Way better than John Candy.”
  • “These sailing terms mean nothing to me.”

Things We Learned:

  • The best way to eat hard boiled eggs is in the car while driving and throwing the shells all over.
  • The best way to win a regatta is in a boat that used to be a restaurant that my family and I fix up in an 80’s montage.

Final Take:

It’s rare that a movie from our childhood stands up as much as this one does. It’s actually funnier than I remember. The cast is great. Rip Torn does particularly well. The only mystery is why John Larroquette is here in an unfunny role and doing so little. I wonder if there was a larger storyline involving him that was later cut? In any event, this was a good watch.

31
Aug
23

Cocaine Bear (2023)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , ,

Date Watched: 8/31/23

Starring: The cast of the Americans TV Show, young Han Solo, and Ray Liotta

Plot:

An oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converge on a Georgia forest where a huge black bear goes on a murderous rampage after unintentionally ingesting cocaine.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Mention cocaine or see cocaine
  • Bear superpowers
  • Dismemberment
  • Cool music is played
  • Say “waterfall”
  • Blatant 80’s product placement
  • Bear does cocaine

Quotes:

  • “No, don’t sh$t out here!”
  • “Let’s sell drugs together.”
  • “Your Dad has definitely done cocaine.”
  • “I know what the f$ck a gazebo is.”
  • “Getting stabbed sucks.”
  • “I have your fingers in my pocket.”
  • “A bear did cocaine, Dad!”

Viewer Quotes:

To Loki (the dog)… “Don’t bark at cocaine bear!”

Things We Learned:

  • Lizards are good listeners, but people are better at hearing.
  • Cocaine to a bear is like spinach to Popeye.

Final Take:

It’s initially slow and takes awhile to get going. Once it does, it almost goes over the top. The ambulance scene in particular was something else. I’d recommend it for those who can stomach it.

08
Jun
23

Stewardess School (1986)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, Knock-Offs, Nudity, Rules, Uncategorized, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 6/8/22

Starring: Every character actor from the 80’s

Plot: The zany “stewdents” at a wacky flight attendants’ school have all sorts of wild and crazy high-flying adventures in this ’80s comedy. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Wings
  • See the main character’s stupid glasses or references to poor vision
  • Slapstick crap

Quotes:

  • “You assholes just wiped out half of Los Angeles.”
  • After farting… “Man, I just got to lay off that pork fried rice.”
  • “How’d you like me to pull that little wee-wee off.”
  • “Do you want to play hide the salami?” After getting punched… “I guess a BJ is out of the question?”
  • “Fasten your seat belt, are you blind.” This was said to a group of blind people.
  • “BJ is two words.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “It’s time for her to do her hair for her hat.”
  • “This is so stupid.”
  • About the guy wigging out… “That looks like me on a SW flight.”

Things We Learned:

  • The best way to get up a big stairway is by motorcycle.
  • They had sundae bars on airplanes in the 80’s.
  • The best way to stop a bomb on a plane is an ass.
  • Stewardesses have to go to school.

Final Take:

It feels like there was an Executive pitch meeting with an idea to combine Police Academy and Airplane! and make a movie. Deciding that this was a great idea, they started shooting the next day with any 80’s actors that happened to be around the studio. I have to say that they were right! This is a great piece of cinema. I thoroughly enjoyed the tremendous cast of random 80’s actors and slapstick stupidity.

20
Apr
23

Meatballs 4 (1992)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, Knock-Offs, Nudity, Rules, Spin-off or sequel, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 4/20/23

Starring: Corey Feldman

Plot: Ricky is the hottest water-ski instructor around and he has just been rehired by his former employer/camp to whip up attendance. But the camp is in serious financial trouble and the owner of a rival, more popular, camp wants to buy them out. Therefore they will have to engage in a mean, winner-takes-all competition that will settle the row once and for all.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Pranks/hijinks
  • Cringe worthy Corey Feldman moments
  • Say “Ricky Wade”

Quotes:

  • “I’m getting a woody.”
  • To girl’s chest… “Hey Bill, hey Ted, any excellent adventures lately?”
  • “By any chance are you checking ID’s… cause all I brought was my IUD.”
  • “Et tu, Bruno?”
  • “These must be really special boobs if we have to sneak up on them.”
  • “I was painting rocks to look like dried fruit and nuts.”
  • “I was in Goonies.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Are these people in their mid-20’s supposed to be high schoolers?”
  • “Is that what camps are like?”

Things We Learned:

There are raccoons just out everywhere at shitty summer camps.

Final Take:

This is an odd movie.  Why is there a summer camp for adults where both the attendees and the counselors are twentysomethings?  Maybe there is an underserved market for this kind of thing, but it seems like a peculiar business model.  Additionally, Corey Feldman can apparently make or break these camps based on his mere presence.  This is even more absurd based on how incredibly awkward he behaves.  His dance scene is particularly cringe inducing. 

So, would we recommend this movie?  Well, sure.  It’s weirdness probably enhances its entertainment value. 

Finally, speaking of weird and Corey Feldman, I once attended his birthday party at a swanky restaurant in LA in 2000 or 2001.  It was advertised in the local paper where anyone could attend if they called the number and rsvp’d.  The steak dinners were great.  (Thanks Corey!)  I’m not sure if we were supposed to pay, but the tables were pulled away, and Corey started up with his band in front of us.  For those who want the unique experience of this themselves, I’d recommend finding the youtube of his Meatballs 4 dance and pairing it with one of his classic songs like “What is a Dog?”.

09
Feb
23

Ski School (1990)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies and Nudity
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date watched: 2/9/23

Starring: Guy from Summer School and other late 80’s/early 90’s hijinks actors

Plot: Rival ski instructors at a prestigious mountain school compete to save their jobs. The infamous “Section Eight”, a popular group of skiing partiers are up against some rich stiffs whose only thought is beating their arch rivals in the annual spring pageant.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Pranks
  • Ski jumps or tricks
  • Every time they drink beers
  • Advanced rule = you see neon

Quotes:

  • To well-endowed woman: “Hey, you’ve got really big… muscles.”
  • Love talk (aka romantic dialogue): “Hi” Response: “Hey”
  • Later love talk: “Hi” Response: “Hi”
  • “That’s right Johnny, you didn’t say anything.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I hope these aren’t the ski instructors instructing our kids.”
  • “That guy is my favorite buffoon.  He’s supposed to be the bad guy, but he’s just so inept.”

Things we learned:

  • You need a spotter with 10 pound weights.
  • Neon means you’re a good guy.
  • The best way to win a ski contest is to lasso the competitor with a grappling hook and drag them down.
  • In order to be the best, you must lose your mind.

Final Take:

This was everything that you’d think it was and maybe a little more?  Or less?  Some of the “humor” and female characterizations have aged pretty poorly, but I’m not sure what else you’d expect from a movie like this.  It’s the kind of lowest common denominator film (using that term extremely loosely) that you used to see on USA’s “Up All Night”.  As I was writing this up, I realized that there was a Ski School 2 made, and I kind of want to see it.  So, I guess that means that this movie would be recommended.

01
Dec
22

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (2018)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cowboys, God Awful, Historical Fiction, SciFi Channel, Spin-off or sequel, Time Travel, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date watched: 12/1/22

Starring: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A Fox, Dude from 30 Rock

Plot: Fin has to go back in time to rejoin his shark-battling friends to stop the first Sharknado and save humanity. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Say “time”
  • Callbacks to previous Sharknado movies that we don’t remember
  • Say “Sharknado”
  • Dee Snider quotes one of his songs or other cameos that the character makes a reference to themselves
  • Talking about needing speed

Quotes:

  • “Welcome to prehistoric times.”
  • “I’ve actually been eaten and pooped out by a lot of dinosaurs.”
  • “First time ever on a pterodactyl?”
  • “These are the same drawings that are at Stonehenge.”
  • Dee Snider: “I think I know who’s twisted Mister.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Is that the guy from 30 Rock?”
  • “This movie is… something else.”
  • “OMG that is Deana Troy.”
  • “C’mon, you’re better than this Neil deGrasse Tyson.”
  • “If I could get a chainsaw sword for Christmas, I would be pretty delighted.”

Things We Learned:

  • You can only go back in time once.
  • One of the consequences of travelling in time is changing sexes and then not remembering.
  • 20,000 years in the future all people are Tara Reid

Final Take:

Well, if you’ve made it through five other Sharknado movies, then you kind of know what you’re getting into with number six. I can’t say that this one is better or worse than the others, because I have little to no memory of them. They all provide a decent BMT experience, and they all are immediately forgettable. I think we’re kind of glad to be done with this series. Wait, what’s that you say? Ian Ziering and the makers of Sharknado created another movie called “Zombie Tidal Wave”? Darn, I guess we kind of have to see that at some point. 🙂

15
Sep
22

Ninja 3: The Domination (1984)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cult Classic, Elite, God Awful, Gratuitous Violence, Ninjas, Revenge and Spin-off or sequel
Tags: , , , , ,

Date watched: 9/15/22

Starring: The old guy who sells Gremlins

Plot: An evil ninja attempts to avenge his death from beyond the grave, by possessing an innocent woman’s body. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Ninja weapons
  • Superhero Ninja Things
  • 80s callbacks to other movies
  • Floating swords
  • Christie dancing

Quotes:

  • “You got this to kill a cop with or something?”
  • “I don’t have any coffee in my apartment, but I have some v8 juice.  Would you like to take me home?”
  • “I am a ninja!”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I remember my mom did jazzercise at the rec center.”
  • “There’s nothing sexy about v8.”
  • “She’s going to call 187 demon ninja.”
  • “He’s so hairy.  He looks like Gollum.  He should take his sweater off.”

Things we learned:

  • Ninjas can crush golf balls and pool balls with their hands.
  • Ninjas can dig holes like a gopher.
  • Only a ninja can destroy a ninja.

Final Take:

Wow, there’s a lot to take in, and I mean that as a compliment! This is a very odd, silly, stupid, ridiculous movie that is incredibly enjoyable to watch. I would highly recommend this piece as pure BMT “art”.

19
May
22

Avalanche Sharks (2014)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, God Awful, Knock-Offs and Rules
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 5/19/22

Starring: No one we know.

Plot: Avalanche Sharks tells the story of a bikini contest that turns into a horrifying affair when it is hit by a shark avalanche. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Electrical disturbances
  • Shark fins/shark kills
  • Bikinis
  • Say “Skookum”
  • Montage scenes
  • Say “Mammoth”

Quotes:

  • “Is it weird that signs like that give me a hard on?”
  • “I never said he couldn’t lust after me.”
  • Q: “We can’t just sit around drink beer and have sex all the time.”  A: “Why not? I thought you liked beer.”
  • “I mean she was mauled to death.  There was nothing left to make a sloppy joe.”
  • “No Dale, I’m not crazy.  I’m a marine.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “This movie is filmed like a promotional video for Mammoth.” 

Things we learned:

  • The best time to exercise is when you’re high.
  • The best way to settle a dispute over a girl is a sweet snowmobile race.

Final Take:

Woof.  This sounded really intriguing and over the top, but it failed terribly with the execution.  Bad CGI kills that aren’t particularly fun.  Random skiing stock footage scenes.  Billed as “the story of a bikini contest”, except there’s no bikini contest. 

03
Feb
22

Yor:  The Hunter from the Future (1983)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Aliens, Amazon women, Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Foreign, God Awful, Knock-Offs, Mutants, Postapocalyptic and Rules
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Date watched: 2/3/22

Starring: Reb Brown (nominated for a Razzie for this role)

Plot: A warrior seeks his true origins in a seemingly prehistoric wasteland. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Anachronisms
  • Theme song being played
  • Dinosaurs
  • Say “Yor”
  • Old man shoots his arrow
  • Rocks that look like penises

Quotes:

  • “Yor’s different than other guys.”
  • “DAMN talking box!”

Viewer Quotes:                                   

  • “Is he from the future even though he looks like He-Man?”
  • “Is that a Triceratops crossed with a Stegosaurus… a Tristegatops?”
  • “There’s no monogamy in cave man days.”
  • “They should reboot this franchise.”  “No!”

Things we learned:

  • The best way to kill a Tristegatops is with an axe.
  • It’s hard to hide a boner wearing a loin cloth.  Wait, we already knew that from years ago.
  • Bad guys in the olden days wore purple paint on their faces.
  • Yor is good at being captured.
  • A generous man does what his heart commands.

Final Take:

This movie really had it all. It’s hard to believe that the movie at the end was the same movie that we started with. For most of the run time, we had no idea where the “Hunter from the Future” tagline came from. Then all of the sudden the Darth Vader clones showed up. (Actually, they kind of look more like Dark Helmet.) According to IMDB, this was originally an Italian miniseries that ran 200 minutes and was split into four parts. Now, condensed into one 90 minute movie, it operates as somewhat of a weird fever dream. If it were rated “R” and just went all out with the gore and craziness it would be a lot better. As it stands, it’s just kind of weird and tame.

16
Dec
21

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)

By badmoviethursday 1 Comment
Categories: Aliens, Amazon women, Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cyborgs, In Space, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Date watched: 12/16/21

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Peter Strauss, Michael Ironside, Ernie Hudson

Plot: On a distant planet inhabited by mutants, two bounty-hunters race to rescue three Earth female captives from the clutches of an evil mutant warlord. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Bad special effects
  • Says “Chalmers”
  • Say “Overdog”
  • Wolff uses his gun

Quotes:

  • “Make it eat dirt, Chalmers.”
  • “Hey wait! I know where to buy clean skav women.”
  • “I never said I wouldn’t eat dog.  I just said I wouldn’t eat it much.”
  • “Good breeding man.  I’ll bet breeding with him would kill him.  I’ll take that bet.”
  • “What do those skrotbags want?”

Viewer quotes:

  • “Wow! It’s got Ernie Hudson.  And Michael Ironside!”
  • “Is her hair wet or just grossly slicked back?”
  • “This reminds me of shower night at our house.”
  • “Are these singing little people?”

Things we learned:

  • Hang gliders are the best way to kidnap women.
  • The best way to deal with customs is to kill them.

Final Take:

This movie scared me as a child. Now… not so much. It flies by, and there really isn’t a lot to it. It certainly fits the bill as a terrible Star Wars knockoff. Cheesy and harmless, it’s worth a look.

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