Archive for September, 2022

01
Sep
22

Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)

Viewing Date: 6/2/22

Starring: Lara Rossi, Vladimir Burlakov, Kit Dale, Tom Green

Plot: Twenty years after the events of Iron Sky, the former Nazi Moonbase has become the last refuge of mankind. Earth was devastated by a nuclear war, but buried deep under the wasteland lies a power that could save the last of humanity – or destroy it once and for all. The truth behind the creation of mankind will be revealed when an old enemy leads our heroes on an adventure into the Hollow Earth. To save humanity they must fight the Vril, an ancient shapeshifting reptilian race and their army of dinosaurs (via IMDB)

Rules

  • Dinosaurs
  • Moon / Moonquake
  • References to Apple products
  • “Vril” / “Vril ya”

Quotes

  • “Let’s make Earth great again”
  • “Take out your PowerPoint, I’m going to dictate some slides.”
  • “When I find you, I will dip your head in a bucket of shit!”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Seems like it had a decent budget!”
  • “Almost seems like a normal movie”.

What We Learned

  • There are moon quakes- and lots of them.
  • Moon God is Steve Jobs.
  • The Earth is hollow
  • Vril live forever
  • Nokia 3310 phones are the best piece of technology ever invented.

Final Take

Meets expectations, so for a bad movie that’s a decent endorsement. Plenty of pop culture and political satire. As the viewer quotes indicate, the CGI and effects, are better than expected. Its been a while since we watched the first one, which I think was better than this, but when you’re making movies about Nazis on the moon, there’s only so many ways to amplify I guess…

01
Sep
22

Double Down (2005)

Viewing Date: Sep 1, 2022

Starring: Neil Breen (of course)

Plot: A brilliant computer loner seizes Las Vegas and its terrorist attack, while fighting against his fits of clinical depression and obsession for romance and death.

Rules

  • Stock footage (expert rule)
  • Random human bones or skulls
  • Eating Tuna
  • Using laptops
  • Humble Brag / Aaron Brand (Breen) reminding us what a genius he is.
  • External exposition.
  • Blood vials

Quotes

  • “I’m an American! I’m an American! I love this country!”
  • “I eat tuna out of the can and live out of my car.”
  • “Electronic, satellite and computer skills….”
  • “Don’t ask how I found you. I know everything- more than the government knows.”
  • “That’s impossible, that can’t be…”

Viewer Quotes

  • “I’m drinking for the double butts.”
  • “Grandpa, do you want to be in a movie?”

What We Learned

  • You can steal a car with a cellphone- if you’re a super genius.
  • The best place to keep laptops is in the desert
  • There are Anthrax dealers
  • EVERYTHING is done electronically.
  • Neil Breen can cure cancer (or maybe it is the fool’s gold)
  • You get blood on your face when doing target practice

Final Take

Wow. This was a lot to unpack- and yet practically nothing. If it was possible for someone to rival the filmmaking madness of Tommy Wiseau (The Room), Neil Breen just might be the one. There really isn’t much in the way of a coherent plot- he is blackmailing governments so that he doesn’t unleash a biological attack on Las Vegas, or something. The movie continually goes back to similar scenes to Neil working on his multiple lap tops at a time, and he has a secret force fields, because… Just because.

There are several unrelated scenes and many characters that are only in one scene with no mention of them before or after. I don’t understand it, but then again I don’t understand how to control the stock market, control elections, or shut down power grids for entire city. These things are only understood by super geniuses like Neil Breen.




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