Archive for August, 2014

29
Aug
14

Dust Up

dust up

Viewing Date: 8/28/2014

Starring: No one really.  The lead looks sort of like Greg Kinnear

Plot

A former vigilante who has embraced his peaceful nature comes to the aid of a young mother in trouble with a cannibalistic drug lord. (IMDB)

Rules

  • A Johnny Cash-ish song plays
  • Fisheye lens shots
  • Eye jokes, references to the eye-patch
  • “Mr. Lizard”
  • Drug use

Quotes

“Nothing like poopin’ indoors.”

“Did I tell you I’m a roadie for Hoobastank?”

“Are you doing this to bang my wife?”

“You are unwilling to cut-off your genitalia to make amends.”

“I’m down with the whole eardrum for an eardrum thing, but if my Eustachian tube gets infected….”

“…I’ve been f’d by a cement fist and dropped by a 

Viewer Quotes

“He was strangling him….  And his Johnson.”

“Methed up Meth-heads could outrun anybody…  Over a short distance.”

What We Learned

If you have enough drugs you can turn people to murder and cannibalism.

Three-wheelers are as unsafe as advertised (shouldn’t be operated by meth-heads)

A meth-head can survive for a long time after being disemboweled by a dog

 

 

 

 

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22
Aug
14

Creature (1985)

creature

Starring: Francine Smith (American Dad), Ferris Bueller’s dad

Date Watched: 8/21/14

Plot:   A crew of scientists arrives on a far, cold planet to examine archaic artifacts of unknown origin. They discover that their German enemies already have a ship there. When they seek their help after a failed landing, they only find the Germans’ bodies, obviously slaughtered by one of the archaic creatures, awoken to new life. Now the alien is after them.

Rules

  • People on headphones
  • Old-school computer screens
  • Star Wars and/or Alien rip-offs
  • Stuff that is just WAY too 80’s (hair, lingo, technology, etc)
  • Aliens take control of a person

Quotes

  • “It looks like some sort of container or something.”
  • “Let’s go back on my space craft. I’ve got bombs there. We’ll blow it all to hell.”
  • “Like mind control?” “Except they replace the brain.” “Yeah, and we’re next on the menu.”
  • “Why were you away so long?” “I got lost…”

Viewer Quotes

  • “This is the most 80’s movie ever.”
  • “Whoa! He’s got a space-suit wedgie!”
  • “How come some people are reanimated to look like normal people, and some people are just dead?”
  • “This guy has a walkman and a track suit.  He couldn’t look any more 80’s.”
  • “So that thing just eats bodies and bites heads off?”

What We Learned

  • Never, EVER split up. 
  • Germany split into East and West Germany (again) in the future
  • Polaroid cameras were the apex of technology
  • People in space also wear nametags
  • Never assume an alien is dead. 

Final Take

  • A low budget, slow alien movie. Could have used more boobs (only one pair).