Bad Movie Thursday

Date watched: 2/3/22

Starring: Reb Brown (nominated for a Razzie for this role)

Plot: A warrior seeks his true origins in a seemingly prehistoric wasteland. (From IMDB)

Rules:

• Anachronisms
• Theme song being played
• Dinosaurs
• Say “Yor”
• Old man shoots his arrow
• Rocks that look like penises

Quotes:

• “Yor’s different than other guys.”
• “DAMN talking box!”

Viewer Quotes:                                   

• “Is he from the future even though he looks like He-Man?”
• “Is that a Triceratops crossed with a Stegosaurus… a Tristegatops?”
• “There’s no monogamy in cave man days.”
• “They should reboot this franchise.”  “No!”

Things we learned:

• The best way to kill a Tristegatops is with an axe.
• It’s hard to hide a boner wearing a loin cloth.  Wait, we already knew that from years ago.
• Bad guys in the olden days wore purple paint on their faces.
• Yor is good at being captured.
• A generous man does what his heart commands.

Final Take:

This movie really had it all. It’s hard to believe that the movie at the end was the same movie that we started with. For most of the run time, we had no idea where the “Hunter from the Future” tagline came from. Then all of the sudden the Darth Vader clones showed up. (Actually, they kind of look more like Dark Helmet.) According to IMDB, this was originally an Italian miniseries that ran 200 minutes and was split into four parts. Now, condensed into one 90 minute movie, it operates as somewhat of a weird fever dream. If it were rated “R” and just went all out with the gore and craziness it would be a lot better. As it stands, it’s just kind of weird and tame.