Archive for the 'Cult Classic' Category


Fateful Findings (2013)

Viewing Date: 11/10/22

Starring: Neil Breen, Klara Landrat, Jennifer Autry

Plot: A small boy discovers a mystical power as a child, then is separated from his childhood girlfriend. He grows up to be an acclaimed novelist and also a computer scientist who hacks into the most secret national and international secrets. His childhood discovery gives him amazing paranormal powers. He is reunited with the childhood girlfriend, mystically, on his hospital deathbed–as his relationship with his current drug-addict girlfriend is deteriorating. As passions build among the threesome, mystical, psychiatric, and worldly forces rise to prevent him from revealing the hacked secrets. He attempts to reveal all in a large press conference in Washington, D.C. with ‘fateful,’ dangerous consequences. (via IMDB, possibly written by… Neil Breen?)


  • Humble Brag
  • Clutching the black stone
  • Weird shots of feet and legs
  • Multiple laptops in one shot
  • Neil Breen naked / partially naked
  • Magic book
  • Ghost ‘stuff’
  • Therapists


  • “They have no idea…”
  • “I never thought to look at the name on the chest” (Doctor speaking to her patient)
  • “I knew I was in love with you when we were walking in the forest and found the black cube.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Throwing books. No! Too many rules already!”
  • “What is this ghost business?”

What We Learned

  • You still need to take someone’s pulse by their wrist, even if they have all kinds of medical equipment hooked up.
  • Neil Breen and friends eat decorative fruit baskets for dinner
  • Always a good idea to wipe blood on your face if given the opportunity.
  • When the reckoning comes for the secret cabal, they all commit suicide in different, creative ways.
  • Your childhood crush when you were 8 years old carries a much stronger bond / love than your wife of many years.

Final Take

Yep, its another Neil Breen movie. I actually think this was more enjoyable than Double Down- a tiny bit more coherent and apparently a remake of that earlier movie (although you wouldn’t know if Neil Breen didn’t tell you). Not quite as much repetition or Neil Breen doing crazy things solo, in the desert for half the movie. This is described as a ‘paranormal thriller’, which makes about as much sense as anything that happens in the movie from start to end. There is a terrible CGI “ghost” that appears occasionally and the magic black rock / cube, but I wouldn’t classify either of those things as thrilling. At least the movie ends on a high note, that (of course) has little to do with any of the movie up to this point, and does not deal with any of the relationships between the characters in the movie- Neil Breen was actually hacking into computer systems, exposing evil Cabals (don’t recall what they were doing, other than being evil), which led to mass suicide by all of these bad actors. Enjoyable as long as you know what you’re getting into.


Ninja 3: The Domination (1984)

Date watched: 9/15/22

Starring: The old guy who sells Gremlins

Plot: An evil ninja attempts to avenge his death from beyond the grave, by possessing an innocent woman’s body. (From IMDB)


  • Ninja weapons
  • Superhero Ninja Things
  • 80s callbacks to other movies
  • Floating swords
  • Christie dancing


  • “You got this to kill a cop with or something?”
  • “I don’t have any coffee in my apartment, but I have some v8 juice.  Would you like to take me home?”
  • “I am a ninja!”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I remember my mom did jazzercise at the rec center.”
  • “There’s nothing sexy about v8.”
  • “She’s going to call 187 demon ninja.”
  • “He’s so hairy.  He looks like Gollum.  He should take his sweater off.”

Things we learned:

  • Ninjas can crush golf balls and pool balls with their hands.
  • Ninjas can dig holes like a gopher.
  • Only a ninja can destroy a ninja.

Final Take:

Wow, there’s a lot to take in, and I mean that as a compliment! This is a very odd, silly, stupid, ridiculous movie that is incredibly enjoyable to watch. I would highly recommend this piece as pure BMT “art”.


Another Wolf Cop

Image result for another wolfcop

Viewing Date: 8/16/18

Staring: Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio, Kevin Smith (uncredited???)

Plot:  Alcoholic werewolf cop Lou Garou springs into action when an eccentric businessman with evil intentions seduces Woodhaven’s residents with a new brewery and hockey team in this outrageous horror-comedy sequel.


  • Say “Wolf”, “Wolfcop”
  • Say “Chicken Milk”


  • “For fuck sake.  Someone stole our donuts.”
  • “I’ll be good to you.”
  • “Lou.  You’re a wolf…”  “Cop.”
  • “Watch your sassy mouth.”
  • “You wouldn’t happen to have a beer handy would you?”  “Thank God.”
  • “It’s time to die, you strange animal.”
  • “I’m glad you’re better man, but I still don’t approve of this shit.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “How much cocaine was done during the filming of this movie?”

What We Learned:

  • Wolfcop revels in other people’s suffering.
  • Moon rocks are like cocaine to werewolves…  Or maybe it was just real cocaine.
  • Don’t drink Chicken Milk Stout.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii


Date Watched: 4/13/2017

Starring: Boobs Mcgee, “Long” Ron Dangle

Plot: In Molokai, two undercover drug enforcement agents are after a vicious drug kingpin, but on the way, they will also have to deal with a contaminated giant python.


  • Seeing the disgusting snake
  • Aviator shades
  • Boobs
  • “The Agency”
  • Flute music


  • (Staring at a woman’s chest) “I’ll have a pair of coffee.”
  • “If brains were bird shit, you’d have a clean cage.”
  • “I’m going to give you the best seat in the house.”  – “Where is that?” – “Right here on my face.”
  • “You go down on her, you’ll be kissing the back of my head because I’ll already be there.  I think you know what I mean.”
  • “So tell me, what do you feel?” – “One man’s dream is another man’s lunch.” – “You son of a bitch.”
  • “Kinky sex… I’ll go get the midgets and the whips.”
  • “Who’s this?  You can’t be here, turkey.” – “He’s just a thrower.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “He’s controlling the helicopter with his wand.”
  • “Why are these chicks doing martial arts?”
  • “Wow, they look real.” – “Are you talking about the diamonds?” (two topless girls in scene)
  • “You have the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.”

Things We Learned

  • The actress who plays Donna, Dona Spier, is in a number of other movies, almost always playing a character named Donna.
  • Agents in Hawaii are vacation hosts and know martial arts.
  • All snakes eat meat.
  • You can tap into a phone by putting a suction cup on the side of another phone.
  • Boobs can make a bad movie seem much better.
  • Nobody wore bras in Hawaii in the 80’s.
  • A rocket can be used to blow up a helicopter or just blow the head off a snake.  It can be dialed up or down to meet your needs.

Final Take: This was a keeper.  Definitely recommended.  Unintentionally funny, lots of boobs, explosions, and a contaminated snake that keeps making appearances for almost no reason.  It has all the trimmings.


Nightbreed (Director’s Cut)


Plot: A troubled young man is drawn to a mythical place called Midian where a community of mutant outcasts attempt to escape the attention of a psychotic serial killer and redneck vigilantes. Based on the novel “Cabal” by Clive Barker. (via IMDB)

Starring: Craig Sheffer


  • “Dr. P. Decker” nameplate is shown
  • Button Eyes kills someone
  • Any scene that goes on way too long
  • “Midian”


  • “You are a freak and a cannibal and you’ve come to the wrong town.”
  • “No pulse, the man is dead!”
  • “Not lying down dead, my friend.  Walking around in my fuckin’ cell dead.”
  • “Looks like the millenium just ended.”


Viewer Quotes

  • “Did she say ‘I want a gay man?'”
  • “I’m disappointed he doesn’t have a moon penis.”
  • “That’s not too bad…better than being a turkey being of some kind.”
  • “Why are there stupid sink holes everywhere?”
  • “That guy…the priest-slash-faggot.”

What We Learned

  • If you’re natural, you’re meat for a beast.
  • Night Breed are not good at fighting back and probably should just hide from now on.

March 2023