Archive for December, 2016

29
Dec
16

Silent Night Deadly Night (1984)

Silent Night

Date Watched: 12/29/16

Starring: Santa as you’ve never seen him before

Plot:

After his parents are murdered, a tormented teenager goes on a murderous rampage dressed as Santa, due to his stay at an orphanage where he was abused by the Mother Superior.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Say “Christmas”
  • Every time there’s a radio announcement
  • Terrible music
  • Characters looking off into the distance
  • Billy says “naughty” or “punishment”
  • Awesome 80’s toys

Quotes:

  • “What about you boy?  You been good all year?”
  • “It’s over.  Time to get sh$tfaced!”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Is that a hairy ass that we’re looking at?”
  • “This is how all my office Christmas parties end.”
  • “The best place to party is the toy store on Christmas Eve.”
  • “Two ball in the corner pocket.”  (Said as guy lays baby sitter down on a pool table for love makin’.)

What We Learned:

  • Santa Claus doesn’t give coal.  He punishes the naughty.

Final Take:

Not bad.  This was a good holiday Thursday movie that got us in the Xmas spirit.  We’re curious to see how the other movies in this series turn out.

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02
Dec
16

A Christmas Horror Story

christmas-horror-story-art

Viewing Date: 12/1/2016

Starring: William Shatner

Plot: Interwoven stories that take place on Christmas Eve, as told by one festive radio host: A family brings home more than a Christmas tree, a student documentary becomes a living nightmare, a Christmas spirit terrorizes, Santa slays evil (via IMDB).

Rules

  • “Bailey Downs”
  • Christmas puns
  • “Krampus”

Quotes

  • “Its like Dracula and Paul Bunyun gayed up and built a dream home”
  • “I said I didn’t want a goddamn cookie, you reindeer fucking snow whore!!!”
  • “Elves coming back to life?  No it doesn’t make sense- unless he is behind it!”

Viewer Quotes

  • “That’s a good Krampus!”

What We Learned

  • Changlings are perverts
  • William Shatner will do anything for a paycheck
  • If your son murders his father, it’s not really a concern, in the long run.
  • This movie would have been so much better if it was only about the Santa vs. Zombie elves story.

Final Take

Not a bad movie.  Production value and acting quality were very good- its just the inconsistent blending of story lines ended up dragging down the entire movie.  Had they just focused on the effective stories, they still could have effectively pulled off the “Ah Ha” moment- but the William Shatner / Radio host involvement did not make sense or add anything valuable to the story line.   Bottom line: Its not a bad holiday horror film, but it should have played to its strengths.