Archive for October, 2012

26
Oct
12

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Plot:

Abe Lincoln hates vampires.  He hunts them.  They have something to do with slavery.  Somehow he becomes president. The end.

Rules:

  • “Abraham”
  • Axe tricks/Axe swinging
  • Cliche Lincoln Crap (Honest, Beard, Top Hat, etc.)
  • Vampires talking about their long lives.
  • Other historical figures make an appearance.

Quotes: 

None worth mentioning.  A first!

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Lincoln is so out of place at these high-society events.”
  • “I played this game when it was Sunset Riders.”
  • “The beard of power!”
  • “The ladies called him ‘Baberaham.'”
  • “What’s with the shopkeeper acting all weird?  There’s something going on there…”
  • “This explains that silver collection campaign that actually happened during the Civil War.”

What We Learned:

  • Vampires were everywhere in pre-Civil War America.
  • Vampires long ago learned how to live in the sun.
  • Abraham had a gun axe.  Surprise!
  • Advanced vampires know Karate.
  • Vampires cannot kill their own kind.
  • Vampires fought for the South (suspected, but now we know)
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05
Oct
12

The Gate

Plot:

Three young children accidentally release a horde of nasty, pint-sized demons from a hole in a suburban backyard. What follows is a classic battle between good and evil as the three kids struggle to overcome a nightmarish hell that is literally taking over the Earth.

Rules:

  • “Glen”, “Al”, or “Terry”
  • Creatures from Hell
  • Feathered hair or flat tops

Quotes:

  • “Hey, somebody get this dog a beer!”
  • “Hey, you want to come over later and mess around?”
  • [Driving with a dead dog] “Whoa, no vacancies dude!”
  • “What are you doing?  Probably fagging off.”
  • “We have to go to the hole and do it right.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “That jean jacket sucks”
  • “Perfect time for the backdoor…”
  • “This is what scared me as a kid.”
  • “Just when you thought they were out of the woods, a dead body falls out of the wall.”
  • “Someone should stab demon Terry in the eye.”
  • “The only thing this monster does is put eyeballs in your hand.”

What We Learned:

  • A model rocket can kill a demon.
  • Some combination of geodes, heavy metal, and a dog sacrifice will open hell on earth.
  • Little demons form a zombie called the working man.
  • Demons can somehow put an eye in your hand.