Archive for November, 2016

18
Nov
16

Death Squad (aka 2047: Sights of Death)

deathsquad

Starring: Whole bunch of has-beens (Danny Glover, Baldwin #3, Mr. Blonde, Daryl Hannah)

Date Watched: 11/17/2016

Plot: Ryan, a Green War rebel agent sent on a mission to collect evidence against the Confederate Central Government, for its heinous crimes. The mission quickly turns chaotic when he meets Tuage, a mutant survivor.

Rules

  • Danny Glover talks techno mumbo-jumbo.
  • “Confederation”
  • Say “Anti-Rad” or use anti-rad
  • “Tuag”
  • Steven Baldwin in blackface

Quotes

  • “Who is this monkey?”
  • “Crazy about Freddy Krueger.”
  • “You sound like a fortune cookie.”
  • “Let’s look at the future.  I don’t even give a rat’s ass about your ideas.”
  • “You can trust me, I believe in God.”
  • “The world is so amazing and so crazy.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “If you guess how many bodies are in the pile, you get to keep them all.”
  • “She has boots made of human scalps.”
  • “This movie is anti-rad.”
  • “What is going on here?  Does anyone know what’s happening?”

Things We Learned

  • You don’t always have to shoot an elephant to bring home dinner.
  • Danny Glover talks way too much and doesn’t say anything.
  • Blackface is never a good idea, not even for a Baldwin.
  • It’s easier to write in your own blood then find another medium.
  • Terrorists hide in charity organizations.
  • Radiation = coma in 6 hours, unless you have anti-rad
  • Getting shot in the head is a minor inconvenience in 2047.

Final Take:

03
Nov
16

Stiches (2012)

Stitches

Date Watched: 11/3/16

Plot: A clown comes back from the dead to haunt those who took his life during a fatal party mishap.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Clown honking
  • Clown hallucinations
  • Say “Stiches”

Quotes:

  • “Give me my dick back”
  • “If you saw a girl’s gash you’d probably put plaster on it.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “He’s going to be like super baked when this dead clown comes to kill everybody.”

Things We Learned:

  • A clown that doesn’t finish a party can never truly rest in peace
  • When a person becomes a clown they have to paint themselves on an egg
  • Every good party ends with a dead clown
  • A clown foam nose can be taken off and sniff out victims
  • Clowns kill cats by counting out each life as it ends