Archive for May, 2019

24
May
19

The Predator

the_predator

Date Watched: 5/23/19

Starring: Thomas Jane, Key and Peele, Theon Greyjoy

Plot: When a young boy accidentally triggers the universe’s most lethal hunters’ return to Earth, only a ragtag crew of ex-soldiers and a disgruntled scientist can prevent the end of the human race.

Rules

  • Use of Predator Tech
  • Autistic kid doing stupid crap
  • Translated predator language
  • Callbacks to the original Predator movie (“Get to the chopper”)

Quotes

  • “How do you circumcise a homeless man?  Kick your mom in the chin.”
  • “If your momma’s vagina was a videogame, it would be rated ‘E’ for everyone.”
  • “What is this?”  –  “It’s a unicorn.  I’m sorry, it’s a piece of shit.”
  • “Good evening.  Um, the brushstrokes on this are dynamic… it’s a wonderful piece.”
  • “That’s my new suit, Bubba.  Hope they got it in a 42 long.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “How would you even know that a thumbs up is good?”  –  “This is where I shut it off.”
  • “When’s he going to poop out the ball and use it to do predator tech?”

Things We Learned

  • Predators collect DNA
  • If you’re autistic, you can hack your way into predator spaceships.
  • Autistic children are the most valuable predator trophy.
  • Some predators want to help humans, others want to kill us.  The good ones also seem to want to kill us, but appreciate a naked female form.

Final Take: A little all over the place.  Kind of a mess, hard to follow.  The loony gang was funny, and most of the action was entertaining, but I’m still not sure what the whole point was.  Don’t think about the plot points too much and you’ll probably enjoy it.

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May 2019
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