Archive for October, 2020

29
Oct
20

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

Date watched: 10/29/20

Starring: People who are in a lot of terrible movies.

Plot: A group of Christian teens visit the Happy Day Bible Camp, where in 1977 an earlier group of teens were punished for their sinful behavior by a sadistic nun. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • 70’s or 80’s references
  • References to sex
  • Closed Caption says “crickets chirping”
  • Character says “Sister Mary Chopper”

Quotes:

  • “We should probably go for guys that look like Jesus.”
  • “I’ll bet Sylvester Stallone has a big cannoli.”
  • “Back door’s always open for Jesus baby.”
  • “Bambi, you’re going to need to lick my rusty star fish.”
  • “Jesus, please take my sinful boner away!”

Viewer Quotes:

  • Question: “Whats going on?”  Response: “It’s 1977.”
  • “At bible camp they don’t really sing about licking nuts though.”
  • “That bush counts I think.”
  • “My grandmother called them Tallywackers.”
  • “Everybody just grab a loose weiner.”

Things we learned:

  • Kids at Bible Camp are actually in their 40’s.
  • Toothless inbreds don’t take kindly to out of towners.
  • Tad is rad.
  • Jesus is cool with wine coolers.

Final Take:

I personally was pretty fond of this movie, although I don’t know that the rest of the group liked it as much. It was funny and entertaining. According to IMDB, there is a sequel in the works, which I think would also make for a good BMT movie.

22
Oct
20

FP2: Beats of Rage (2018)

FP2: Beats of Rage HD Movie | faporlongtras1988

Viewing Date: 9/24/20

Starring: Jason Trost, Nick Principe, Mike O’Gorman, Bru Muller, Art Hsu, Tallay Wickham

Plot: Despite hanging up his boots following the events of ‘The FP,’ JTRO must return to the blood sport of Beat-Beat Revelation one last time. JTRO and KCDC – his mystical hype man – will quest deep into The Wastes, a land destroyed by the Beat Wars, to compete in the ancient Beat-Beat tournament, “Beats of Rage,” face AK-47 – and, hopefully, save the world. (via IMDB)

Rules

  • Panther Growl Noise
  • “Booze”
  • “JTRO” or “BTRO”
  • “Beat-Beat”
  • “Rage Dipping”

Quotes

  • “We did some love. We threw some pups”
  • “Yo. Drink some water.” “Hey! Get that wet shit outta my face!”
  • “Re-ninj, JTRO!”
  • “That deal is tail lights and the word is GO!”
  • “Pound me JTRO.”
  • “Let Re-ninj be your eyes.”
  • “He’s beginning to Re-ninj; he must Re-ninj alone.”
  • “I challenge you to a beat off!”

Viewer quotes

  • “Have you ever seen a movie that has a scene with more than one person with an eyepatch- that’s not a pirate movie?”

What We Learned

  • You could use a spoon on a Nintendo Controller
  • They need the seed to keep the clan strong
  • Chicas weaken legs- especially when Rage Dippin’
  • You talk shit, you get slit.

Final Take

The FP is a ‘hall of fame’ Bad Movie Thursday selection, so this movie had a lot to live up to, and I think it delivered. You’ve got to respect the dedication that Jason Trost has for this movie and ridiculous world / culture / language he has created. It is thoroughly entertaining and takes it self seriously enough to maintain the immersion in this crazy world. This is one of the most quotable movies in BMT history just because of the dialect that has been created for this post-apocalyptic world– the list above could have been much longer if I would have been spending more time writing everything down. This movie had enjoyable characters, twists, and nods to video game culture, and we would definitely recommend. This movie might not make the top 10 Bad Movie Thursday list, but would make the top 25 for sure.

16
Oct
20

Zoombies 2

Date Watched: 10/15/2020

Starring: The Zoombies

Plot: A game ranger and a team of poachers end up surrounded by zombie animals and they forge an alliance to stop the beasts before the super-zombie virus spreads to the entire world.

Rules

  • Animals turning into zoombies
  • Saying the word “zoo”
  • Animals “chittering”
  • Don’t forget house rule – creature-vision
  • “Toronto”

Quotes

  • “It’s a cocktail of my own creation. Paralyzes the animal from within.”
  • “Humped to death by a lion.”
  • “The animals are going crazy. They want our blood. They want revenge!”
  • “This planet is wasting away. I’m just trying to make some cash before we’re all extinct.”
  • “Face it… we’re not the kings of the jungle anymore!”
  • “You want us to willingly feed ourselves to the animals?”
  • “It’s an antidote, okay. It’s not a secret serum to give you powers.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “That jeep’s going like a ride at disneyland.”
  • “How did the porcupine get in there?” – “Must have gone through the air ducts.”

Things We Learned

  • The planet is wasting away. You just have to make some cash before we’re all extinct.
  • Porcupines will explode when shocked with a cattle prod.

Final Take: It was just fine. Too many of the people died in stupid ways, it seemed like a waste, but probably budget restrictions. We craved more gruesome zoombie killings, and this movie definitely left us wanting. I’m not sure I would strongly recommend this movie when there are clearly better options.




October 2020
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