Bad Movie Thursday

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Date watched: 7/29/21

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Dave Bautista, Xiaoming Huang (really the star of the movie), 50 cent (no vitamin water seen in the movie), kid from Desperate Housewives,  Amos from the Expanse

Plot: Years after he fought his way out of an inescapable prison, Ray Breslin has organized a new top-notch security force. But when one of his team members goes missing, Breslin must return to the hell he once escaped from. (From IMDB)

Rules:

• Say “Algorithm”

• Say “1764”

• Product placement

• Say “All prisoners return to your spoke”

Quotes:

• “I need you to kick my ass.”

• “Turns out the doctor is a lamp stand.”

Viewer Quotes:

• “This movie feels a lot like Major League Soccer.  The league’s in China and we send them all of our aging stars out for one last paycheck.”

• “Sly looks like he’s wearing a wax mask…  Or a Reagan mask.”

Things We Learned:

• There’s an algorithm you can use to deal with terrorist extractions… but never trust it.

• The best way to share confidential information is on sticky notes.

• The best way to build an inescapable prison is to have one that rotates.  But it doesn’t matter, as Sly will find a way out.

Final Take:

This was pretty silly and painless.  It’s certainly not a classic, but it went down easy.  (Much like Coors Light on a boat on the lake in the summer while listening to Michael McDonald.)