Archive for March, 2015

27
Mar
15

Nazis at the center of the earth (2012)

Nazis

Viewing Date: 3/26/15

Plot:

Researchers in Antarctica are abducted by a team of masked storm troopers. They are dragged deep underground to a hidden continent in the center of the earth. Here Nazi survivors, their bodies a horrifying patchwork of decaying and regenerated flesh, are planning for the revival of the Third Reich. (From IMDB)

Starring:

Dominique Swain and Jake Busey

Rules:

  • Nazi clichés
  • Nazis dying
  • Faces getting ripped off
  • Every time blond chick runs

Quotes:

“What is wrong with you, you’re never squeamish?”  (After her friend’s brain has been ripped out and girl vomits.)

Viewer Quotes:

“So one guy has been delivering people to the Nazis for years to use as spare parts and nobody has noticed?”

“Where did he get that baseball?”

“That is the worst thing you can say to a Robo-Hitler.”

Things we learned:

  • To tear someone’s face off, you just need to cut them a little bit at the top of their head.
  • There are mountains and temples at the center of the earth.
  • It’s not cold at the center of the earth.
  • Nazis have UFO technology.

Final Take:

For a movie with great promise, it just doesn’t really deliver.  It goes to places that it shouldn’t go – zombie rape and abortion scenes – that make it mean spirited and take the fun out of it.  This should have just been over the top ridiculousness.  If you’re looking for a silly zombie Nazi movie, I would definitely check out “Dead Snow” instead.

06
Mar
15

Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014)

Dead Snow 2-AGI-DVD-OCard-UK&Eire EAGLE.indd

Viewing Date: 3/5/2015

Plot: If the worst day of your life consisted of accidentally killing your girlfriend with an axe, chain-sawing your own arm off, and watching in horror as your closest friends were devoured by a zombified Nazi battalion, you’d have to assume that things couldn’t get much worse. In Martin’s case, that was only the beginning. (via IMDB)

Starring: Some Norwegians

Rules

  • Waking the dead / turning someone into a zombie
  • say “zombie”, x2 for “zombie squad”
  • Dismemberment / disembowelment
  • Star Wars references

Quotes

“I have chocolate.  I could get it for you.  It’s double-triple fudge.”

“Didn’t we agree to be more casual around here?”

“I was expecting Hoth, but this is more Endor.”

“It would be easier if you could buy weapons here.” “Yeah.  What the fuck is wrong with this country?”

“Don’t hurt me!  I have two kittens!”

“What are you talking about?!” “It’s Satan’s arm.  It’s a long story.”

“We’re fucking nerds.  That’s what we do….  Technical shit.”

“What did the forensic team say?” “That’s not the forensic team, that’s Tim Ollie.  They dressed in all white today.  They thought it would look more professional.”

“I didn’t know there was supposed to be an ugly face convention in town.  Come get me if you dare.”

“What the hell is going on?  Is there a carnival in town?”

Viewer Quotes

“They have violated every rule.”

What We Learned

  • There are Nazi zombie doctors can reattach limbs
  • You can siphon gas with someone’s intestines
  • You can hide from nazi zombies by posing as a mannequin
  • The best way to counter an evil Nazi zombie army is with a slightly less-evil Russian zombie army
  • A seagull translator would be invaluable to police detectives

Final Take

This movie was fantastic!  We enjoyed the first one as being a better-than-average zombie horror comedy, but this one was a serious step up.  The production value went up, it was in English (Norweigian dubbing didn’t really hurt the first one though), and they broke all of the unwritten rules of going over the top in horror movies.  Multiple murders of handicapped people, children, women with baby strollers- but in a funny way (can I say that?)…  Absolutely ridiculous, but the dialogue was spot on and had funnier parts than most comedys coming out these days.  The guy who played the museum employee nailed it.  This will likely go in as one of the top 10 most enjoyable bad movie Thursday films so far.