Archive for June, 2019

21
Jun
19

The North Star

North Star (1996)

Viewing date: 6/20/19

Starring: Christopher Lambert, James Caan

Plot: Set during the Alaskan gold rush of the late 1800s. In his efforts to gain control of a small mining town, Sean McLennon is buying up every mining claim that becomes available, usually after the deaths of the previous owners at the hands of McLennon’s “assistants”. One of the miners targeted by McLennon, a half-Indian hunter named “Hudson Saanteek”, manages to escape his hired thugs, and comes back into town looking to re-establish his claim and get revenge. McLennon and his men have the advantage of numbers and weapons, but Saanteek has his survival skills, and knowledge of the Alaskan wilderness.

Rules

  • “Hudson Saanteek”
  • “Claims”
  • “Yub yub.”
  • “North Star.”

Quotes

  • “Nobody dies ’til I tell them to die.”
  • “If I can save that cave….  I can be honest with myself about who I am!”
  • “I wanted to say goodbye…”  (stabbing)  “So did I.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Escape on a dogsled.  Is that a cinematic first?”

What We Learned

  • You cannot own the land.  You can only respect it.
  • Having a swiss accent is pretty close to an eskimo accent.
  • Jumping out of a dogsled can throw a tracker off the scent- sometimes..

 

06
Jun
19

Solomon Kane (2009)

Solomon Kane Pic

Date Watched: 6/6/19

Starring: Thee-Eyed Raven, Kobayashi, and dude from Altered Carbon

Plot:

A ruthless mercenary renounces violence after learning his soul is bound for hell. When a young girl is kidnapped and her family slain by a sorcerer’s murderous cult, he is forced to fight and seek his redemption slaying evil. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Every time he’s unstoppable or kills two bad guys at once
  • Say “Solomon Kane”
  • Shows his scarred back

Quotes:

  • “Silence you dogs”
  • “Killing came easily to me”
  • About not fighting anymore… “I may just have changed my mind about that.”
  • “I was born here.  I have no intention of going through the front gates.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “He didn’t know that with their black demon eyes these guys were possessed.  He must have thought it was a Vitamin C deficiency.”
  • “That’s a tough way to wake up from a hangover, being dragged through the mud to your own death.”

Things We Learned:

  • Weird underground tunnels full of demons have already lit torches.

Final Take:

Surprisingly watchable.  This movie comes up continuously in our Netflix searches, but we’ve never been down to watch it, as it looks like a terrible version of Van Helsing.  (Van Helsing is already terrible in itself.)  So, we gave it a shot, and we were pleasantly surprised.  This had decent effects and acting, and we’d give it a positive recommendation.




June 2019
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