Posts Tagged ‘Sci-Fi

19
Dec
24

Black Friday (2021)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Knock-Offs, Mutants, Rules, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
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Date Watched: 12/19/24

Starring: Devon Sawa (aka guy from Final Destination and Idle Hands but older now), Michael Jai White, Bruce Campbell, Ivana Baquero, Seth Green’s voice

Plot:

A group of toy store employees must protect each other from a horde of parasite infected shoppers.  (From IMDb)

Rules:

  • Jump scares
  • Say “Toys”
  • Say “Green Friday”

Quotes:

  • “Bathroom… I’m parking a Buick man.”
  • “No one gives a flying f$ck about your training or plaques Anita.”
  • “You park that Buick?”
  • “That’s some dark sh$t man.”
  • “My ears hurt from listening to Air Supply 50,000 times.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Didn’t that actor have a moment in Final Destination and Idle Hands?”
  • “Anita gets it (aka dies), and I couldn’t be happier.”
  • “I like Ruth.”

Things We Learned:

  • Washing your hands at work in a toy store is cause to be fired.
  • There’s always enough time to have one more beer.

Final Take:

Likable cast, decent, not super memorable. This one definitely isn’t a classic BMT, and I had to watch the trailer again on IMDB to even remember it. I think we enjoyed it for what it was, which is a bad holiday movie. I think they needed to add a bit more humor. I don’t have many quotes captured, and I don’t think I missed a lot. Bruce Campbell was good in a side role.

Fun Facts: This movie was based on a discarded 1994 Power Rangers script. Also, Seth Green randomly appears as a voice in this movie. He previously costarred with Devon Sawa in Idle Hands.

11
Jul
24

Dark Angel aka I Come in Peace (1990)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Aliens, Bad Movies, Cult Classic, God Awful, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 7/11/24

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Brian Benben

Plot:

Jack Caine (Dolph Lundgren) is a Houston vice cop who’s forgotten the rule book. His self-appointed mission is to stop the illegal drugs trade and its number one supplier Victor Manning. Whilst involved in an undercover operation to entrap Manning, his partner gets killed, and a sinister newcomer enters the scene. Along with F.B.I. agent Lawrence Smith, the two investigate a spate of mysterious deaths; normal non-junkies dying of massive heroin overdoses and bearing the same horrific puncture marks on the forehead. This, coupled with Caine’s own evidence, indicates an alien force is present on the streets of Houston, killing and gathering stocks of a rare drug found only in the brain. Caine is used to fighting the toughest of criminals, but up to now they’ve all been human. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Says “I come in peace”
  • Christmas stuff
  • Dolph Lundgren counting
  • Anytime one cop is at odds with the other because one is by the book and the other is a loose cannon
  • Dolph Lundgren promises things or people talk about his promises

Quotes:                                                                                                    

  • Q: “What university did you attend?”… A: “The university of suck my d$ck.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Ron Fury, John Turtle, Jan Hammer… There’s a lot of fantastic names in this.”

Things We Learned:

  • A duck and roll is the best way to enter any building.
  • Dolph Lundgren never breaks a promise.
  • The best way to stop a CD that kills people is a speaker.

Final Take:

There’s a lot to like here from Dolph Lundgren to Brian Benben (from the TV Show “Dream On”). The movie’s setup with a drug dealing alien is ridiculously silly, as is his spinning CD that kills people. The movie is sometimes called “Dark Angel”, but in the U.S. it was named “I Come In Peace”. It should really be known as the latter, because it sets up one of the best final kill lines I’ve ever heard. (e.g., “Let off some steam” from Commando.)

09
May
24

TC 2000 (1993)

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Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, God Awful, Gratuitous Violence, Postapocalyptic and Rules
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Date watched: 5/9/24

Starring: Billy Blanks, Bolo Yeung

Plot:

Somewhere in an apocalyptic future, where the rich live underground and the poor are left to fend for themselves on the surface by forming gangs, corrupt members of an underground security force plot to destroy the surface. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Lazers
  • Say “TCU”
  • Say “breaker”
  • Have fights for no reason
  • Billy Blanks does the splits

Quotes:

  • “Back to surface world for you chump.”
  • While she’s dying… “You said we’d be partners forever.”
  • “You want to see the sights.. you got to pay the price.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “This looks like a movie made by stuntmen for stuntmen.”
  • “Can we drink for Billy Blanks haircut as well?”
  • “Are we to assume that their clothes are made of rat?”  (Note: They have fur on them.  Hence the rat comment.)

Things We Learned:

  • In the future, crooks attack the cops on ziplines.
  • You punch through a clown to hit the guy behind him.
  • Picassos sleep during the day.
  • The best way to kill a man is to scratch him like a cat.

Final Take:

This was pretty good. It brought back a lot of memories watching Billy Blanks and thinking about his Tae Bo workouts. The visuals and plot are totally throw away 90’s straight to video style. Having Bolo Yeung involved is always a plus too.

01
Dec
22

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (2018)

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Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cowboys, God Awful, Historical Fiction, SciFi Channel, Spin-off or sequel, Time Travel, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date watched: 12/1/22

Starring: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A Fox, Dude from 30 Rock

Plot: Fin has to go back in time to rejoin his shark-battling friends to stop the first Sharknado and save humanity. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Say “time”
  • Callbacks to previous Sharknado movies that we don’t remember
  • Say “Sharknado”
  • Dee Snider quotes one of his songs or other cameos that the character makes a reference to themselves
  • Talking about needing speed

Quotes:

  • “Welcome to prehistoric times.”
  • “I’ve actually been eaten and pooped out by a lot of dinosaurs.”
  • “First time ever on a pterodactyl?”
  • “These are the same drawings that are at Stonehenge.”
  • Dee Snider: “I think I know who’s twisted Mister.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Is that the guy from 30 Rock?”
  • “This movie is… something else.”
  • “OMG that is Deana Troy.”
  • “C’mon, you’re better than this Neil deGrasse Tyson.”
  • “If I could get a chainsaw sword for Christmas, I would be pretty delighted.”

Things We Learned:

  • You can only go back in time once.
  • One of the consequences of travelling in time is changing sexes and then not remembering.
  • 20,000 years in the future all people are Tara Reid

Final Take:

Well, if you’ve made it through five other Sharknado movies, then you kind of know what you’re getting into with number six. I can’t say that this one is better or worse than the others, because I have little to no memory of them. They all provide a decent BMT experience, and they all are immediately forgettable. I think we’re kind of glad to be done with this series. Wait, what’s that you say? Ian Ziering and the makers of Sharknado created another movie called “Zombie Tidal Wave”? Darn, I guess we kind of have to see that at some point. 🙂

03
Feb
22

Yor:  The Hunter from the Future (1983)

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Categories: Aliens, Amazon women, Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Foreign, God Awful, Knock-Offs, Mutants, Postapocalyptic and Rules
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Date watched: 2/3/22

Starring: Reb Brown (nominated for a Razzie for this role)

Plot: A warrior seeks his true origins in a seemingly prehistoric wasteland. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Anachronisms
  • Theme song being played
  • Dinosaurs
  • Say “Yor”
  • Old man shoots his arrow
  • Rocks that look like penises

Quotes:

  • “Yor’s different than other guys.”
  • “DAMN talking box!”

Viewer Quotes:                                   

  • “Is he from the future even though he looks like He-Man?”
  • “Is that a Triceratops crossed with a Stegosaurus… a Tristegatops?”
  • “There’s no monogamy in cave man days.”
  • “They should reboot this franchise.”  “No!”

Things we learned:

  • The best way to kill a Tristegatops is with an axe.
  • It’s hard to hide a boner wearing a loin cloth.  Wait, we already knew that from years ago.
  • Bad guys in the olden days wore purple paint on their faces.
  • Yor is good at being captured.
  • A generous man does what his heart commands.

Final Take:

This movie really had it all. It’s hard to believe that the movie at the end was the same movie that we started with. For most of the run time, we had no idea where the “Hunter from the Future” tagline came from. Then all of the sudden the Darth Vader clones showed up. (Actually, they kind of look more like Dark Helmet.) According to IMDB, this was originally an Italian miniseries that ran 200 minutes and was split into four parts. Now, condensed into one 90 minute movie, it operates as somewhat of a weird fever dream. If it were rated “R” and just went all out with the gore and craziness it would be a lot better. As it stands, it’s just kind of weird and tame.

16
Dec
21

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)

By badmoviethursday 1 Comment
Categories: Aliens, Amazon women, Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cyborgs, In Space, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Date watched: 12/16/21

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Peter Strauss, Michael Ironside, Ernie Hudson

Plot: On a distant planet inhabited by mutants, two bounty-hunters race to rescue three Earth female captives from the clutches of an evil mutant warlord. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Bad special effects
  • Says “Chalmers”
  • Say “Overdog”
  • Wolff uses his gun

Quotes:

  • “Make it eat dirt, Chalmers.”
  • “Hey wait! I know where to buy clean skav women.”
  • “I never said I wouldn’t eat dog.  I just said I wouldn’t eat it much.”
  • “Good breeding man.  I’ll bet breeding with him would kill him.  I’ll take that bet.”
  • “What do those skrotbags want?”

Viewer quotes:

  • “Wow! It’s got Ernie Hudson.  And Michael Ironside!”
  • “Is her hair wet or just grossly slicked back?”
  • “This reminds me of shower night at our house.”
  • “Are these singing little people?”

Things we learned:

  • Hang gliders are the best way to kidnap women.
  • The best way to deal with customs is to kill them.

Final Take:

This movie scared me as a child. Now… not so much. It flies by, and there really isn’t a lot to it. It certainly fits the bill as a terrible Star Wars knockoff. Cheesy and harmless, it’s worth a look.

13
Feb
20

Between Worlds (2018)

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Categories: Bad Movies, Hillbillies, Nic Cage, Nudity, Uncategorized, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , ,

between Worlds

Date watched: 2/13/20

Starring: Nic Cage, woman from “Run Lola Run”

Plot: Joe meets a mother who can contact spirits when suffocating. Her daughter is dying when Joe helps the mother spiritually contact the daughter and save her. Unfortunately, the spirit in the daughter’s body is now that of Joe’s dead wife. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Every time Nic Cage drinks.
  • People talk about leaving their body or leave their body.

Quotes:

  • “Just ring it up Ricardo!”
  • “Next time why don’t you wrestle a man gator”
  • Woman asks the question: “Do you have family?”  Nic Cage answer: “wife and daughter, you like? (holding up their picture)… oops, they’re dead!”
  • Nice Cage to woman: “I smell like three days on the road.”  Her response: “I like it.”
  • “A man without a truck isn’t a man.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Does Nic Cages hat actually say Turkey and the Wolf?”
  • What the daughter should ask the Mom when Nic Cage walks in with her, “who’s that scumbag with you?”

Things we learned:

  • Nic Cage’s favorite food is truck stop hot dogs.
  • Nic Cage wears a lot of stupid rings.

Final Take:  Not too shabby.  It was weird and well acted by everyone other than Nic Cage, although he certainly had his moments.  It was a decent addition to the Nic Cage library and worth checking out.

22
Aug
19

Rampage (2018)

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Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Knock-Offs, Rules, Uncategorized and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , ,

Rampage

Date Watched: 8/22/19

Starring: The Rock, 80’s video game monsters, Negan as basically Negan

Plot: When three different animals become infected with a dangerous pathogen, a primatologist and a geneticist team up to stop them from destroying Chicago.  (from IMDB.com)

Rules: 

-Video game references
-Sign language w/ monkeys
-Say Crsper
-Dumb radio signal to lure the monsters

Quotes:

-“Is it me, or is he considerably bigger?”
-“I need that wolf… dead or alive”
-“What are you, some sort of International Man of Mystery?”
-“David, there’s something big in the river.”… “Well, that sucks.”

Viewer Quotes:

-“Has the Rock ever been in an actual good movie?”
-“Wow, this is really just a bunch of nonsense.”

Things We Learned:

-Monkeys can give people the finger and knock the Rock (pun intended).
-Ruthless CEO has Rampage video game in her office in a movie about Rampage video game.
-Doctors have access to helicopters.  (And damaged helicopters can “float” down buildings as they crumble.)
-Getting shot in the gut is no big deal if you’re The Rock.  (Just remember to occasionally wince.)
-Wolves can fly.

Final Take:

Not too shabby for a BMT Movie.  It certainly was silly, but it did a decent job of tone and being entertaining.  I’m not sure what else you could ask for in a movie about three cartoon monsters that scale a building.

21
Feb
19

Robo Vampire 3 aka The Vampire is Still Alive aka Counter Destroy (1989)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, Cyborgs, Foreign, God Awful, Knock-Offs, Rules and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Counter Destroy

Viewing Date: 2/21/19

Starring: No One

Plot: Joyce rents an old haunted home to pen her horror script, which releases an evil army of robot vampires, a knife-wielding demon and a battalion of otherworldly creatures (from IMDB).

Rules:
Something supernatural happens
Vampires
Abrupt scene changes

Quotes:
“Why man kill 2 beautiful girl.”
“I forgot to tell him we are the police.”
“You’re efficiency is extremely low. You’ve got to take some action now.”

Viewer Quotes:
“Why couldn’t they be in the bath together, shaving each other with a can of Barbasal.”
“Those are nice melons.”
“This is probably the most incoherent plot we’ve ever watched on a BMT.”

Things We Learned:
Rotary phones can kill.
The sacred bird can tell your fortune from sealed envelopes.
Vampires hop like rabbits.
The best way to kill someone is jumping over a car and slicing them with a putty knife.

Final Take:

Bad, and not in a good way.  We cannot recommend this movie, as it was a slog to get through.  Too bad.  There was a lot of potential here, but the mishmash of a bunch of other movies doesn’t work.

17
Aug
17

Flying Monkeys (2013)

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Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Rules and Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

flying monkeys

Date Watched: 8/17/2017

Starring: No One

Plot: Teenager, Joan gets more than she bargained for when her workaholic dad buys her a cute pet monkey who grows wings, fangs, and an insatiable thirst for blood come nightfall. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Clichés
  • Regular Monkeys
  • Wizard of Oz references
  • Say “Monkey”

Quotes:

  • “If you’re going to bite me, I’m going to kill you.”
  • “It seems like you got a lot of birds here. You got mostly birds?”
  • “Now you got a monkey, how am I going to compete with that?”
  • “We’re looking for a monkey that recently flew to America.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “He didn’t have a buyer for this crazy monkey?”
  • “Sorry I’ve never been there for you, here’s a monkey.”
  • “Thanks creepy Dad with your giant chin.”

Things We Learned:

  • The way to redeem yourself when you’ve been a deadbeat dad is to buy your daughter a monkey.
  • The full moon brings out the flying monkey.
  • Monkeys get to be a lot bigger when they become murderous flying monkeys.
  • In Texas, even the nerds drive big trucks.

Final Take:  Great ideas and set up, but this movie ultimately felt like a SyFy Channel movie with not enough gore and gruesomeness.  This movie should have pushed the limits, instead it held back, and therefore we can’t really recommend it.

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