Archive for the 'Aliens' Category

17
Aug
18

Another Wolf Cop

Image result for another wolfcop

Viewing Date: 8/16/18

Staring: Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio, Kevin Smith (uncredited???)

Plot:  Alcoholic werewolf cop Lou Garou springs into action when an eccentric businessman with evil intentions seduces Woodhaven’s residents with a new brewery and hockey team in this outrageous horror-comedy sequel.

Rules:

  • Say “Wolf”, “Wolfcop”
  • Say “Chicken Milk”

Quotes:

  • “For fuck sake.  Someone stole our donuts.”
  • “I’ll be good to you.”
  • “Lou.  You’re a wolf…”  “Cop.”
  • “Watch your sassy mouth.”
  • “You wouldn’t happen to have a beer handy would you?”  “Thank God.”
  • “It’s time to die, you strange animal.”
  • “I’m glad you’re better man, but I still don’t approve of this shit.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “How much cocaine was done during the filming of this movie?”

What We Learned:

  • Wolfcop revels in other people’s suffering.
  • Moon rocks are like cocaine to werewolves…  Or maybe it was just real cocaine.
  • Don’t drink Chicken Milk Stout.
24
Jul
15

Big Ass Spider

bigassspider

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Viewing Date: 7/23/2015

Starring:  Greg Grunberg (from Heroes!), Lin Shaye

Plot

A giant alien spider escapes from a military lab and rampage the city of Los Angeles. When a massive military strike fails, it is up to a team of scientists and one clever exterminator to kill the creature before the city is destroyed. (IMDB)

Rules

  • Spider bites
  • Say “spider”
  • Main character (Alex) hits on a girl
  • Alex hits toy on back of his truck
  • Say “Stage 5”

Quotes

“Like the living dead?”  “No Jose.” “But I like those movies.”

“Did you see the arachnid?”  “I don’t know what you said- I like your pipe.”

“What I saw was 20 inches and black.”  “Oh..  Sounds funny.”

“So we got to shoot the spider in the butt….”

“I’ll see you in hell!!!”

Viewer Quotes

(none- sorry.  This is for us.)

What We Learned

  • Big spiders cause power fluctuations
  • Spiders like shiny objects
    • But it is only to catch bums
  • You kill spiders by shooting them in the butt
  • You don’t have to worry about the alien baby spiders that just hatched.  I’m sure it will be just fine.  Congratulations everyone.

Final Take

Not too bad.  We don’t think it was worthy of the 4.5+ stars on Netflix, but it was an above average bad movie.  Even though he was the stereotypical comic relief, the clear highlight of the move was the sidekick Jose.  He had all the best lines and was the best thing the movie had going.  Of course for a movie like this this you aren’t going to get too caught up with the relationship development or the military response to a crisis of this magnitude, but they could have tried just a little harder.

22
Aug
14

Creature (1985)

creature

Starring: Francine Smith (American Dad), Ferris Bueller’s dad

Date Watched: 8/21/14

Plot:   A crew of scientists arrives on a far, cold planet to examine archaic artifacts of unknown origin. They discover that their German enemies already have a ship there. When they seek their help after a failed landing, they only find the Germans’ bodies, obviously slaughtered by one of the archaic creatures, awoken to new life. Now the alien is after them.

Rules

  • People on headphones
  • Old-school computer screens
  • Star Wars and/or Alien rip-offs
  • Stuff that is just WAY too 80’s (hair, lingo, technology, etc)
  • Aliens take control of a person

Quotes

  • “It looks like some sort of container or something.”
  • “Let’s go back on my space craft. I’ve got bombs there. We’ll blow it all to hell.”
  • “Like mind control?” “Except they replace the brain.” “Yeah, and we’re next on the menu.”
  • “Why were you away so long?” “I got lost…”

Viewer Quotes

  • “This is the most 80’s movie ever.”
  • “Whoa! He’s got a space-suit wedgie!”
  • “How come some people are reanimated to look like normal people, and some people are just dead?”
  • “This guy has a walkman and a track suit.  He couldn’t look any more 80’s.”
  • “So that thing just eats bodies and bites heads off?”

What We Learned

  • Never, EVER split up. 
  • Germany split into East and West Germany (again) in the future
  • Polaroid cameras were the apex of technology
  • People in space also wear nametags
  • Never assume an alien is dead. 

Final Take

  • A low budget, slow alien movie. Could have used more boobs (only one pair).



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