Bad Movie Thursday

Date watched: 4/1/21

Starring: Frank Grillo and Nic Cage (Partial Appearance)

Plot: Every six years, an ancient order of jiu-jitsu fighters joins forces to battle a vicious race of alien invaders. But when a celebrated war hero goes down in defeat, the fate of the planet and mankind hangs in the balance.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

• Seeing the Comet
• Weird Subtitles
• Fidget Spinners Attack
• First Person Video Game Scenes
• Stupid Cartoon Storyboard Transitions

Quotes:

• “I like women with thick thighs.”
• “Do you know those Jedi Knights that just took out my entire unit?”
• “I got a license to kill you… No expiration date.”
• “I know that the spaceman likes you.”

Viewer Quotes:

• Regarding Nic Cage: “Is he supposed to be Asian?  Is he wearing a Sombrero?”
• “Oh look, it’s the Ninja Turtles Temple.”

Things We Learned:

• Nic Cage makes really good hats out of newspaper.
• You can split one sword into two swords.
• The movie Jiu Jitsu doesn’t have a lot of Jiu Jitsu in it.

Final Take:

There was a lot of potential here for something awesome.  Sadly, it fell short.  The movie is a never-ending barrage of fighting with little to no plot or dialogue.  It’s as if they shot a three-hour movie and then edited anything out that had to do with story or cohesion.  There are moments of cool things, but the sheer repetitiveness and ripped off Predator theme suck most of the fun out.  Nice Cage is also underused both in screen time and in the sheer lunacy for which we watch his films.