Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 11/10/22

Starring: Neil Breen, Klara Landrat, Jennifer Autry

Plot: A small boy discovers a mystical power as a child, then is separated from his childhood girlfriend. He grows up to be an acclaimed novelist and also a computer scientist who hacks into the most secret national and international secrets. His childhood discovery gives him amazing paranormal powers. He is reunited with the childhood girlfriend, mystically, on his hospital deathbed–as his relationship with his current drug-addict girlfriend is deteriorating. As passions build among the threesome, mystical, psychiatric, and worldly forces rise to prevent him from revealing the hacked secrets. He attempts to reveal all in a large press conference in Washington, D.C. with ‘fateful,’ dangerous consequences. (via IMDB, possibly written by… Neil Breen?)

Rules

• Humble Brag
• Clutching the black stone
• Weird shots of feet and legs
• Multiple laptops in one shot
• Neil Breen naked / partially naked
• Magic book
• Ghost ‘stuff’
• Therapists

Quotes

• “They have no idea…”
• “I never thought to look at the name on the chest” (Doctor speaking to her patient)
• “I knew I was in love with you when we were walking in the forest and found the black cube.”

Viewer Quotes

• “Throwing books. No! Too many rules already!”
• “What is this ghost business?”

What We Learned

• You still need to take someone’s pulse by their wrist, even if they have all kinds of medical equipment hooked up.
• Neil Breen and friends eat decorative fruit baskets for dinner
• Always a good idea to wipe blood on your face if given the opportunity.
• When the reckoning comes for the secret cabal, they all commit suicide in different, creative ways.
• Your childhood crush when you were 8 years old carries a much stronger bond / love than your wife of many years.

Final Take

Yep, its another Neil Breen movie. I actually think this was more enjoyable than Double Down- a tiny bit more coherent and apparently a remake of that earlier movie (although you wouldn’t know if Neil Breen didn’t tell you). Not quite as much repetition or Neil Breen doing crazy things solo, in the desert for half the movie. This is described as a ‘paranormal thriller’, which makes about as much sense as anything that happens in the movie from start to end. There is a terrible CGI “ghost” that appears occasionally and the magic black rock / cube, but I wouldn’t classify either of those things as thrilling. At least the movie ends on a high note, that (of course) has little to do with any of the movie up to this point, and does not deal with any of the relationships between the characters in the movie- Neil Breen was actually hacking into computer systems, exposing evil Cabals (don’t recall what they were doing, other than being evil), which led to mass suicide by all of these bad actors. Enjoyable as long as you know what you’re getting into.