Bad Movie Thursday

Date Watched: 4/13/2017

Starring: Boobs Mcgee, “Long” Ron Dangle

Plot: In Molokai, two undercover drug enforcement agents are after a vicious drug kingpin, but on the way, they will also have to deal with a contaminated giant python.

Rules

• Seeing the disgusting snake
• Aviator shades
• Boobs
• “The Agency”
• Flute music

Quotes

• (Staring at a woman’s chest) “I’ll have a pair of coffee.”
• “If brains were bird shit, you’d have a clean cage.”
• “I’m going to give you the best seat in the house.”  – “Where is that?” – “Right here on my face.”
• “You go down on her, you’ll be kissing the back of my head because I’ll already be there.  I think you know what I mean.”
• “So tell me, what do you feel?” – “One man’s dream is another man’s lunch.” – “You son of a bitch.”
• “Kinky sex… I’ll go get the midgets and the whips.”
• “Who’s this?  You can’t be here, turkey.” – “He’s just a thrower.”

Viewer Quotes

• “He’s controlling the helicopter with his wand.”
• “Why are these chicks doing martial arts?”
• “Wow, they look real.” – “Are you talking about the diamonds?” (two topless girls in scene)
• “You have the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.”

Things We Learned

• The actress who plays Donna, Dona Spier, is in a number of other movies, almost always playing a character named Donna.
• Agents in Hawaii are vacation hosts and know martial arts.
• All snakes eat meat.
• You can tap into a phone by putting a suction cup on the side of another phone.
• Boobs can make a bad movie seem much better.
• Nobody wore bras in Hawaii in the 80’s.
• A rocket can be used to blow up a helicopter or just blow the head off a snake.  It can be dialed up or down to meet your needs.

Final Take: This was a keeper.  Definitely recommended.  Unintentionally funny, lots of boobs, explosions, and a contaminated snake that keeps making appearances for almost no reason.  It has all the trimmings.