Archive for the 'Bad Movies' Category

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »
25
Apr
24

Bad Channels (1992)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Aliens, Bad CGI and Bad Movies

Viewing Date: Apr 25, 2024

Starring: Paul Hipp, Martha Quinn, Robert Factor, Blue Oyster Cult (?!)

Plot

An Alien (Cosmo) and his robot (Lump) land in a small town and promptly takes over the local radio station. The disk jockey, Dan O’ Dare, well known for his publicity stunts, becomes a hostage. The alien uses the radio station and Dan’s amused audience to target and subsequently shrink women for his collection, after the women picture themselves as starring in a music video. (via IMDB & wikipedia)

Rules

  • 66 or 666
  • Electrical anomolies
  • Alien Robot antics
  • Music videos (several done by Blue Oyster Cult, apparently)
  • Fungus related activities

Quotes

  • “This son of a bitch is crazier than a tree full of owls!”
  • (viewer quote) “Corky’s the best thing about this movie!”
  • (viewer quote) “We need to add ‘Touching Myself Again’ to the official Bad Movie Thursday Soundtrack.”

What We Learned

  • New radio stations regularly cause electrical problems & power surges
  • Disinfectant kills aliens
  • Nobody cares about Bunny.

Final Take

Nothing special, but had a few fun parts and kept moving the nonsense along. Highlights were the music videos and enjoyably terrible music, which was nice considering this was a nod to MTV culture of that era.

22
Feb
24

Quest for the Mighty Sword (1990)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, Cyborgs, Revenge, Spin-off or sequel and Sword and Sorcery

Viewing Date: Feb 22, 2024

Starring: Eric Allan Kramer, Margaret Lenzey, Donald O’Brien

Plot: Once upon a time a god gave a mighty sword to the king of Aquiles to bring justice to his people. Now he wants it back – but the king rather gives his life than the sword. Goddess Dehamira, who spoke for him, is being taken all her privileges and banned in a circle of fire, until a human arrives who’s strong enough to free her. When prince Ator becomes 18, he gets the sword from the mean sorcerer gnome Grindl, to free Dehamira and his people. On his journey he has to fight against dragons and other fantastic figures. (via IMDB)

Rules

  • Troll 2 Mask
  • Characters running!
  • Crow: “Caw!”
  • Birds
  • Face touching

Quotes

  • “Was he rubbing a balloon on his hair earlier?” (viewer)
  • “The first impression is the one that counts”

What We Learned

  • Thorn is king of the gods
  • Death and beauty are unsuitable companions
  • If you need to kill yourself, the reasonable thing to do is to hand your child off to an evil goblin magician to be raised.
  • Anyone can repair a broken sword in a minutes.

Final Take

Believe it or not, this is the fourth movie in the ‘Ator’ series of low budget, sword and sorcery movies from the 80’s. Yes, it was bad, but in a lot less fun way than Iron Warrior (not to mention a pretty loose connection overall with that movie). Apparently this movie’s primary claim to fame is the re-use of masks from the iconic bad movie “Troll 2”. There were some hilarious monsters and action, but overall pretty boring story of the 18-going-on-35 warrior ‘Ator’ questing around the country side with Dejanira and his thief friend, with the conclusion centered around an evil king and his sister who’s ultimate goals are to marry / seduce Dejanira and Ator. Maybe they should just get some of the magic roofies that the goblin used on Ator’s mother… I honestly don’t even remember where we landed with Thorn, the angry king of gods that wanted his sword back.

We’ve certainly seen a lot worse, but the director should have quit while he was ahead after Iron Warrior.

18
Jan
24

Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend (2012)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, God Awful, Hillbillies, Nudity and Rules
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Date watched: 1/18/24

Starring: Bigfoot

Plot:

A tabloid reporter makes a shocking cryptozoological discovery while investigating a recent rash of Bigfoot sightings in this comedy featuring beer, bikinis, and the wildest party animal you’ve ever met.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Drinking booze
  • Footprints
  • Say Bigfoot or sasquatch
  • Mention loins

Quotes:

  • In response to what the hick is going to do when he captures bigfoot = “I’m going to take the missus out and get some egg rolls and spaghetti.”
  • “Personally, I think I’m going to bed, and I think all of that is a bunch of crap.”
  • “That guy’s nuttier than a ton of squirrel poop.”
  • “If you have to shave a hundred monkeys and then glue their fur to a homeless dude to get the picture… then do it!”
  • “You feel like playing sunbather and panty thief?”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I keep waiting for bigfoots wild weekend.”
  • “There’s been very little bigfoot and very little wild weekend.”
  • “What’s the wrong end of the urinal?”

Things We Learned:

  • The best way to go camping is straight from running on the track without changing or getting camping stuff.
  • The best way to lure bigfoot is to drink beer and take your top off… Or get toasty (aka high) and invite him in.

Final Take:

It starts off well enough, but then Bigfoot disappears for a long period of time. Other characters are introduced and then never seen again. It doesn’t do nearly enough with the premise. So, skippable.

08
Jun
23

Stewardess School (1986)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, Knock-Offs, Nudity, Rules, Uncategorized, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 6/8/22

Starring: Every character actor from the 80’s

Plot: The zany “stewdents” at a wacky flight attendants’ school have all sorts of wild and crazy high-flying adventures in this ’80s comedy. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Wings
  • See the main character’s stupid glasses or references to poor vision
  • Slapstick crap

Quotes:

  • “You assholes just wiped out half of Los Angeles.”
  • After farting… “Man, I just got to lay off that pork fried rice.”
  • “How’d you like me to pull that little wee-wee off.”
  • “Do you want to play hide the salami?” After getting punched… “I guess a BJ is out of the question?”
  • “Fasten your seat belt, are you blind.” This was said to a group of blind people.
  • “BJ is two words.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “It’s time for her to do her hair for her hat.”
  • “This is so stupid.”
  • About the guy wigging out… “That looks like me on a SW flight.”

Things We Learned:

  • The best way to get up a big stairway is by motorcycle.
  • They had sundae bars on airplanes in the 80’s.
  • The best way to stop a bomb on a plane is an ass.
  • Stewardesses have to go to school.

Final Take:

It feels like there was an Executive pitch meeting with an idea to combine Police Academy and Airplane! and make a movie. Deciding that this was a great idea, they started shooting the next day with any 80’s actors that happened to be around the studio. I have to say that they were right! This is a great piece of cinema. I thoroughly enjoyed the tremendous cast of random 80’s actors and slapstick stupidity.

20
Apr
23

Meatballs 4 (1992)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, Knock-Offs, Nudity, Rules, Spin-off or sequel, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 4/20/23

Starring: Corey Feldman

Plot: Ricky is the hottest water-ski instructor around and he has just been rehired by his former employer/camp to whip up attendance. But the camp is in serious financial trouble and the owner of a rival, more popular, camp wants to buy them out. Therefore they will have to engage in a mean, winner-takes-all competition that will settle the row once and for all.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Pranks/hijinks
  • Cringe worthy Corey Feldman moments
  • Say “Ricky Wade”

Quotes:

  • “I’m getting a woody.”
  • To girl’s chest… “Hey Bill, hey Ted, any excellent adventures lately?”
  • “By any chance are you checking ID’s… cause all I brought was my IUD.”
  • “Et tu, Bruno?”
  • “These must be really special boobs if we have to sneak up on them.”
  • “I was painting rocks to look like dried fruit and nuts.”
  • “I was in Goonies.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Are these people in their mid-20’s supposed to be high schoolers?”
  • “Is that what camps are like?”

Things We Learned:

There are raccoons just out everywhere at shitty summer camps.

Final Take:

This is an odd movie.  Why is there a summer camp for adults where both the attendees and the counselors are twentysomethings?  Maybe there is an underserved market for this kind of thing, but it seems like a peculiar business model.  Additionally, Corey Feldman can apparently make or break these camps based on his mere presence.  This is even more absurd based on how incredibly awkward he behaves.  His dance scene is particularly cringe inducing. 

So, would we recommend this movie?  Well, sure.  It’s weirdness probably enhances its entertainment value. 

Finally, speaking of weird and Corey Feldman, I once attended his birthday party at a swanky restaurant in LA in 2000 or 2001.  It was advertised in the local paper where anyone could attend if they called the number and rsvp’d.  The steak dinners were great.  (Thanks Corey!)  I’m not sure if we were supposed to pay, but the tables were pulled away, and Corey started up with his band in front of us.  For those who want the unique experience of this themselves, I’d recommend finding the youtube of his Meatballs 4 dance and pairing it with one of his classic songs like “What is a Dog?”.

09
Feb
23

Ski School (1990)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies and Nudity
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date watched: 2/9/23

Starring: Guy from Summer School and other late 80’s/early 90’s hijinks actors

Plot: Rival ski instructors at a prestigious mountain school compete to save their jobs. The infamous “Section Eight”, a popular group of skiing partiers are up against some rich stiffs whose only thought is beating their arch rivals in the annual spring pageant.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Pranks
  • Ski jumps or tricks
  • Every time they drink beers
  • Advanced rule = you see neon

Quotes:

  • To well-endowed woman: “Hey, you’ve got really big… muscles.”
  • Love talk (aka romantic dialogue): “Hi” Response: “Hey”
  • Later love talk: “Hi” Response: “Hi”
  • “That’s right Johnny, you didn’t say anything.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I hope these aren’t the ski instructors instructing our kids.”
  • “That guy is my favorite buffoon.  He’s supposed to be the bad guy, but he’s just so inept.”

Things we learned:

  • You need a spotter with 10 pound weights.
  • Neon means you’re a good guy.
  • The best way to win a ski contest is to lasso the competitor with a grappling hook and drag them down.
  • In order to be the best, you must lose your mind.

Final Take:

This was everything that you’d think it was and maybe a little more?  Or less?  Some of the “humor” and female characterizations have aged pretty poorly, but I’m not sure what else you’d expect from a movie like this.  It’s the kind of lowest common denominator film (using that term extremely loosely) that you used to see on USA’s “Up All Night”.  As I was writing this up, I realized that there was a Ski School 2 made, and I kind of want to see it.  So, I guess that means that this movie would be recommended.

01
Dec
22

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (2018)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cowboys, God Awful, Historical Fiction, SciFi Channel, Spin-off or sequel, Time Travel, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date watched: 12/1/22

Starring: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A Fox, Dude from 30 Rock

Plot: Fin has to go back in time to rejoin his shark-battling friends to stop the first Sharknado and save humanity. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Say “time”
  • Callbacks to previous Sharknado movies that we don’t remember
  • Say “Sharknado”
  • Dee Snider quotes one of his songs or other cameos that the character makes a reference to themselves
  • Talking about needing speed

Quotes:

  • “Welcome to prehistoric times.”
  • “I’ve actually been eaten and pooped out by a lot of dinosaurs.”
  • “First time ever on a pterodactyl?”
  • “These are the same drawings that are at Stonehenge.”
  • Dee Snider: “I think I know who’s twisted Mister.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Is that the guy from 30 Rock?”
  • “This movie is… something else.”
  • “OMG that is Deana Troy.”
  • “C’mon, you’re better than this Neil deGrasse Tyson.”
  • “If I could get a chainsaw sword for Christmas, I would be pretty delighted.”

Things We Learned:

  • You can only go back in time once.
  • One of the consequences of travelling in time is changing sexes and then not remembering.
  • 20,000 years in the future all people are Tara Reid

Final Take:

Well, if you’ve made it through five other Sharknado movies, then you kind of know what you’re getting into with number six. I can’t say that this one is better or worse than the others, because I have little to no memory of them. They all provide a decent BMT experience, and they all are immediately forgettable. I think we’re kind of glad to be done with this series. Wait, what’s that you say? Ian Ziering and the makers of Sharknado created another movie called “Zombie Tidal Wave”? Darn, I guess we kind of have to see that at some point. 🙂

10
Nov
22

Fateful Findings (2013)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cult Classic, Ghosts and Rules

Viewing Date: 11/10/22

Starring: Neil Breen, Klara Landrat, Jennifer Autry

Plot: A small boy discovers a mystical power as a child, then is separated from his childhood girlfriend. He grows up to be an acclaimed novelist and also a computer scientist who hacks into the most secret national and international secrets. His childhood discovery gives him amazing paranormal powers. He is reunited with the childhood girlfriend, mystically, on his hospital deathbed–as his relationship with his current drug-addict girlfriend is deteriorating. As passions build among the threesome, mystical, psychiatric, and worldly forces rise to prevent him from revealing the hacked secrets. He attempts to reveal all in a large press conference in Washington, D.C. with ‘fateful,’ dangerous consequences. (via IMDB, possibly written by… Neil Breen?)

Rules

  • Humble Brag
  • Clutching the black stone
  • Weird shots of feet and legs
  • Multiple laptops in one shot
  • Neil Breen naked / partially naked
  • Magic book
  • Ghost ‘stuff’
  • Therapists

Quotes

  • “They have no idea…”
  • “I never thought to look at the name on the chest” (Doctor speaking to her patient)
  • “I knew I was in love with you when we were walking in the forest and found the black cube.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Throwing books. No! Too many rules already!”
  • “What is this ghost business?”

What We Learned

  • You still need to take someone’s pulse by their wrist, even if they have all kinds of medical equipment hooked up.
  • Neil Breen and friends eat decorative fruit baskets for dinner
  • Always a good idea to wipe blood on your face if given the opportunity.
  • When the reckoning comes for the secret cabal, they all commit suicide in different, creative ways.
  • Your childhood crush when you were 8 years old carries a much stronger bond / love than your wife of many years.

Final Take

Yep, its another Neil Breen movie. I actually think this was more enjoyable than Double Down- a tiny bit more coherent and apparently a remake of that earlier movie (although you wouldn’t know if Neil Breen didn’t tell you). Not quite as much repetition or Neil Breen doing crazy things solo, in the desert for half the movie. This is described as a ‘paranormal thriller’, which makes about as much sense as anything that happens in the movie from start to end. There is a terrible CGI “ghost” that appears occasionally and the magic black rock / cube, but I wouldn’t classify either of those things as thrilling. At least the movie ends on a high note, that (of course) has little to do with any of the movie up to this point, and does not deal with any of the relationships between the characters in the movie- Neil Breen was actually hacking into computer systems, exposing evil Cabals (don’t recall what they were doing, other than being evil), which led to mass suicide by all of these bad actors. Enjoyable as long as you know what you’re getting into.

15
Sep
22

Ninja 3: The Domination (1984)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Cult Classic, Elite, God Awful, Gratuitous Violence, Ninjas, Revenge and Spin-off or sequel
Tags: , , , , ,

Date watched: 9/15/22

Starring: The old guy who sells Gremlins

Plot: An evil ninja attempts to avenge his death from beyond the grave, by possessing an innocent woman’s body. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Ninja weapons
  • Superhero Ninja Things
  • 80s callbacks to other movies
  • Floating swords
  • Christie dancing

Quotes:

  • “You got this to kill a cop with or something?”
  • “I don’t have any coffee in my apartment, but I have some v8 juice.  Would you like to take me home?”
  • “I am a ninja!”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I remember my mom did jazzercise at the rec center.”
  • “There’s nothing sexy about v8.”
  • “She’s going to call 187 demon ninja.”
  • “He’s so hairy.  He looks like Gollum.  He should take his sweater off.”

Things we learned:

  • Ninjas can crush golf balls and pool balls with their hands.
  • Ninjas can dig holes like a gopher.
  • Only a ninja can destroy a ninja.

Final Take:

Wow, there’s a lot to take in, and I mean that as a compliment! This is a very odd, silly, stupid, ridiculous movie that is incredibly enjoyable to watch. I would highly recommend this piece as pure BMT “art”.

19
May
22

Avalanche Sharks (2014)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, God Awful, Knock-Offs and Rules
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 5/19/22

Starring: No one we know.

Plot: Avalanche Sharks tells the story of a bikini contest that turns into a horrifying affair when it is hit by a shark avalanche. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Electrical disturbances
  • Shark fins/shark kills
  • Bikinis
  • Say “Skookum”
  • Montage scenes
  • Say “Mammoth”

Quotes:

  • “Is it weird that signs like that give me a hard on?”
  • “I never said he couldn’t lust after me.”
  • Q: “We can’t just sit around drink beer and have sex all the time.”  A: “Why not? I thought you liked beer.”
  • “I mean she was mauled to death.  There was nothing left to make a sloppy joe.”
  • “No Dale, I’m not crazy.  I’m a marine.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “This movie is filmed like a promotional video for Mammoth.” 

Things we learned:

  • The best time to exercise is when you’re high.
  • The best way to settle a dispute over a girl is a sweet snowmobile race.

Final Take:

Woof.  This sounded really intriguing and over the top, but it failed terribly with the execution.  Bad CGI kills that aren’t particularly fun.  Random skiing stock footage scenes.  Billed as “the story of a bikini contest”, except there’s no bikini contest. 

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »
February 2026
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
232425262728  

Months

Blogroll

Recent Entries