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20
Mar
25

Maniac Cop (1988)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Cult Classic
Tags: ,

Maniac Cop (Special Edition)

Viewing Date: Mar 20, 2025

Starring: Tom Atkins, Bruce Campbell, Laurene Landon, Richard Roundtree

Plot: Innocent people are being brutally murdered on the streets of New York City by a uniformed police officer. As the death toll rises and City Hall attempts a cover-up, Frank McCrae heads the investigation. A young cop, Jack Forrest, finds himself under arrest as the chief suspect, having been the victim of a set-up by the real killer and a mysterious woman phone-caller. Forrest, his girlfriend Theresa, and McCrae set out to solve the puzzle before the Maniac Cop can strike again. (via IMDB)

Rules

  • Trash on the street
  • “Maniac”, “Psycho”, “Crazy”
  • “Cordell”
  • Cop stereotypes, tropes or dialogue

Quotes

  • “Cops like killing. That’s why they’re cops.”
  • You should have seen him on the operating table… Cut to pieces.”

What We Learned

  • NYPD patrol officers all wore white gloves for some reason
  • Maniac cop has / had a girlfriend
  • Maniac cop likes a good St. Patty’s day parade

Final Take

Our decision around watching Maniac Cop wasn’t that we thought it would be a great BMT film, but would be a gateway for the sequels, which we expect to be more absurd and entertaining. We were basically right on that- I wouldn’t say Maniac Cop was good, but it took itself a little too seriously (especially for a Troma movie). So much more potential there, but ended up as a slow paced, procedural meets Halloween meets Terminator. Was Cordell, the Maniac Cop alive, dead, or just bullet proof and ice cold? We’re not sure, but after escaping / being released from Sing Sing), he was super strong and liked to kill innocent people as revenge for… being framed by corrupt politicians.

The short entry was not by design- there just really wasn’t much material to work with. On the positive side, there were some good car chases and stunts, especially considering the low budget, and of course, Bruce Campbell.

Here’s to the sequels being more entertaining.

07
Mar
25

Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized

Viewing Date: 3/6/2025

Starring: Holly Fields, Chris Weber, Al Foster

Plot

The evil Djinn is awakened once more, and must collect 1001 souls to begin the Apocalypse.(via IMDB)

Rules

  • “Wish” (Advanced Rule)
  • Weird transformations
  • Taking the blue-line bus to prison.

Quotes

  • “I only play for real.”
  • “The young man who was shot? He had a regressive experience.”
  • “What’s it going to take?” – “Your soul… and a pack of cigarettes.”
  • “I was in a hole once for 3000 years. This should be a breeze.”
  • “You’re a naughty little girl and daddy’s gotta teach you some respect.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “What the hell? Does she have to witness all this terrible shit?”

What We Learned

  • Don’t wish anything for yourself or you are f’ed.
  • There’s a blue line bus that takes you from downtown straight to prison. And it’s fairly busy.
  • You have to trap a Jinn in the space between worlds.
  • Cutting your pinky off can purify your soul somehow.

Final Take

This movie wasn’t great. There were some decent practical effect scenes with some over-the-top gore, one memorable scene with a lawyer having to “Go F Himself”, and a lot of exposition and filler. The story doesn’t make sense, the characters aren’t likeable at all, and there’s also a suspicious amount of bible talk that comes across as almost a subliminal message. I have a feeling I’ll be reading this entry 4 years from now trying to remember if we’ve already watched this movie. If you’re reading this, future me, you have, and don’t subject yourself to it again.

13
Feb
25

Roadhouse Remake (2024)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Knock-Offs, Rules, Spin-off or sequel and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: ,

Date Watched: 2/13/25

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal

Plot: Ex-UFC fighter Dalton takes a job as a bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, only to discover that this paradise is not all it seems.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • JG has shirt off
  • JG stupid grin, especially if mentioned
  • Say Roadhouse
  • JG breaks bones
  • Talk about how far away the hospital is

Quotes:

  • After getting stabbed… “Where’re you going?  You’re not going to take your knife?”
  • Q: “Is he a friend of yours?”  A: “No, I just broke his arm.”
  • Q: “What are you whittling”.  A: “A Stick”.  Q2: “What’s it going to be?”  A2: “A smaller stick.”
  • Statement: “This piano is out of tune”. Response: “Sounds pretty good to me.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I thought we might need more rules than just JG with his shirt off and them saying Roadhouse, but it just keeps happening.”
  • “Why is this bar full or degenerates?  Oh right, it’s Florida.”

Things We Learned:

  • After you beat people up, you should be nice and take them to hospital while playing Kokomo.
  • Crocs hide their dead bodies in the Florida Keys.
  • It’s hard to ride motorcycles in South Florida without a group.
  • A concussion can really mess up your memory.  It also takes two minutes for a memory to get to long term memory.

Final Take:

This was actually a pretty good remake!  It can’t beat the original, which is an all-time classic, but it did well for itself.  (i.e., you don’t have Swayze ripping out throats, but JG handles himself surprisingly well.)  There was a good mix of violence and absurdity.  I’ve heard there’s a sequel in the works, which sounds good too.  Fun watch. 

08
Jan
25

Frankie Freako (2024)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Frankie Freako (2024) - IMDb

Viewing Date: 1/8/26

Starring: Conor Sweeney, Adam Brooks, Kristy Wordsworth

Plot:

Workaholic yuppie Conor is in an existential rut until one night he catches a bizarre ad for a party hotline hosted by a strange dancing goblin: Frankie Freako. Could this be just the recipe to spice up his boring life? (via IMDB)

Rules

  • “Frankie Freako”
  • “Shabadoo”
  • “Boink”
  • Mechanical robot arms (is that redundant?
  • A Freako says a pun

Quotes

  • “That part where you were sweating and screaming the whole time”
  • “I always knew this would happen…”
  • “Concubine? What that is?”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Is that a shoulder penis?”

What We Learned

  • Fart soda can be used as gasoline
  • If you keep giant jugs of glue in your home be careful- if it spills on you, you are stuck / trapped forever
  • Destroying your house in the name of ‘loosening up’ is totally worth it
  • Frankie Freako is a Christmas movie

Final Take

A lot of weird stuff going on here and it takes a while to get into the groove of the absurdity. Is this a drug induced hallucination for the main character? Is his manager at work a villain or friend? About mid way through it all starts to make sense by not making sense and was quite enjoyable. Even the “twist” payoff at the end works.

3.5/5 Fart Sodas

03
Jan
25

Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,
http://www.allwallpapersfree.org

Viewing Date: 1/2/2025

Starring: Andrew Bowser (from Youtube?)

Plot

Fledgling occultist Onyx and a group of worshipers attend a once-in-a-lifetime ritual at their idol BARTOK THE GREAT’S mansion.(via IMDB)

Rules

  • “Onyx”
  • Getting bullied
  • Onyx goes into his lunchbox
  • “Abbadon”

Quotes

  • “Mama always said… too mooch juice and the beast gets loose.”
  • “I’ll stick to my tiny wines.”
  • “I’m just a fat fucking fat fucking virgin.”
  • “Oh well, I dreamt I didn’t fuck anybody last night, so I guess we all had pretty fortuitous dreams.”
  • “What does it say about the virgin? That he has the power to cradle his flacid wee wee in his hands and cry for hours on end?”
  • “Sorry, when I get nervous I start singing Fievel.”
  • “Who’s to say what any of us are in this twisted palace built of riddle and rhyme?”

Viewer Quotes

  • “The picture is him pregnant with women around him barfing?”

What We Learned

  • Michael Bay directed Meatloaf’s video “I would do anything for love”.
  • ALF’s real name was Gordon Shumway.
  • Shit quick else be deemed unworthy.

Final Take

Not bad. Not bad at all. I didn’t have any exposure or foreknowledge of this Onyx character, which I guess might have gotten started as a series of viral videos on Youtube. Even without that, this was pretty entertaining. The Onyx character was just as realized as someone like Earnest or Pee Wee Herman. I think there could be a whole series of them. The supporting characters were good and the drinking rules paid off in spades, especially “Abbadon”. It’s definitely a full recommendation from us here at BMT.

19
Dec
24

Black Friday (2021)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Knock-Offs, Mutants, Rules, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 12/19/24

Starring: Devon Sawa (aka guy from Final Destination and Idle Hands but older now), Michael Jai White, Bruce Campbell, Ivana Baquero, Seth Green’s voice

Plot:

A group of toy store employees must protect each other from a horde of parasite infected shoppers.  (From IMDb)

Rules:

  • Jump scares
  • Say “Toys”
  • Say “Green Friday”

Quotes:

  • “Bathroom… I’m parking a Buick man.”
  • “No one gives a flying f$ck about your training or plaques Anita.”
  • “You park that Buick?”
  • “That’s some dark sh$t man.”
  • “My ears hurt from listening to Air Supply 50,000 times.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Didn’t that actor have a moment in Final Destination and Idle Hands?”
  • “Anita gets it (aka dies), and I couldn’t be happier.”
  • “I like Ruth.”

Things We Learned:

  • Washing your hands at work in a toy store is cause to be fired.
  • There’s always enough time to have one more beer.

Final Take:

Likable cast, decent, not super memorable. This one definitely isn’t a classic BMT, and I had to watch the trailer again on IMDB to even remember it. I think we enjoyed it for what it was, which is a bad holiday movie. I think they needed to add a bit more humor. I don’t have many quotes captured, and I don’t think I missed a lot. Bruce Campbell was good in a side role.

Fun Facts: This movie was based on a discarded 1994 Power Rangers script. Also, Seth Green randomly appears as a voice in this movie. He previously costarred with Devon Sawa in Idle Hands.

05
Dec
24

Double Team (1997)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Assassins, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it

Viewing Date: 12/5/24

Starring: JCVD, Dennis Rodman, Mickey Rourke

Rules

  • JCVD doing the splits
  • Basketball references / puns
  • Dennis Rodman’s hair color changes
  • “Stavros”
  • When the Omega watch gives instructions
  • Jumping from an explosion

Quotes

  • “You’ll be the baddest boy on the block.”
  • “Time to get off the bench. Time to play offense!”
  • “Oops- air ball!”

What We Learned

  • A bathtub, door jamb and a bucket of rocks are all you need for a killer workout
  • A plastic bag is somehow a deadly weapon under water
  • There are a band of cybermonks in Rome that have been doing research for 500 years
  • Don’t use your son as a human shield and then be mad about it when he gets killed

Final Take

Some great action sequences with JCVD and interesting concepts about counter-intelligence and the ‘deep state’, but otherwise a silly plot, bad acting and a lot of mediocrity.

Double Team did capture some of the magic from JCVD’s glory days- the recovery training / escape plan montage in the Colony was a highlight, but otherwise nothing outstanding. The action scenes were especially long with lots of explosions and jumping / diving. There is a particularly odd sequence at the beginning of the movie where Jack Quinn (JCVD) and Stavros (Rourke) and battling it out in the Newborn Unit of a hospital. Not sure if the director thought that that would really raise the stakes of the battle (no adults / personnel / security / police to be found anywhere, just babies), but it was mostly just uncomfortable to watch.

It also felt like there was some kind of back story missing between JCVD and Rourke’s characters. Everything seemed to be personal, but not really explained, other than the involvement of Rourke’s family and their subsequent killing in the beginning of the movie (although Rourke seemed to know it was a trap).

As expected, Rodman is just a sidekick inserted for comic relief. His character is an international arms dealer that only cares for himself, but quickly reveals his heart of gold.

Standard Bad Movie Thursday fare here- you could certainly do worse when looking at the “late career” offerings from JCVD, Seagal, Dolph Lundgren, etc.

22
Nov
24

Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,
http://www.allwallpapersfree.org

Viewing Date: 11/21/24

Starring: Ryan Lord, Julia Culbert, Marc DeNola

Plot

A flock of sea eagles attack the coastal town of Santa Cruz, California. Why did the birds attack? Who will survive? (via IMDB)

Rules

  • Bird Attack
  • “Sea Eagle” (movie title)
  • Scenes that go on too long.
  • Environmental Preachiness
  • The guy and girl walking together

Quotes

  • “I’m looking for a three-bedroom house surrounded by trees. Preferably in a forest.”
  • “Well, I think we need to fix Global Warming.”
  • “Let’s take their guns and defend ourselves from those crazy birds.”
  • “Yes, we have to accept our fate. It is death.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “This is so much padding for an 83 minute movie.”
  • “Are you sure this movie is about bird attacks and not just climate change?”
  • “Why is this guy talking about Rejuvenate and the 9 mechanisms of aging again?”
  • “My God, where are the birds?”
  • “Stay in your lane, Birdemic.”
  • “Hey mister – can you please sing to us as we dance in this empty room?”
  • “Just when you think a scene can’t go any longer, it does. And just when it can’t get any more awkward, it gets so awkward you can barely stand it.”
  • “We’re three quarters of the way into this movie, no crazy birds yet.”
  • “This is another awesome diatribe on climate change.”

What We Learned

  • The normal weather patterns are changing rapidly. (Learned from a nature documentary that is played in the movie for no reason)
  • Don’t leave your car running and go dancing off into the woods.
  • Eagles are really good at cutting people’s throats as they fly by. They never miss.

Final Take

This movie did not have any crazy bird sightings until literally 60 minutes into an 83 minute movie. That is all you need to know. The entire first hour was filled with nothing but inane diatribes on climate change. It was just one scene after another of weird, contrived scenes where the leads encounter new people that just immediately start ranting about climate change. On top of that, there would be probably the most uncomfortable scenes ever put on camera, and they would stretch on so long it was like a psychological study in human capacity to withstand awkwardness. If that sounds like your bag, you can think about watching it. I wouldn’t, though. Not ever again.

24
Oct
24

Night of the Demons (1988)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Bad Movies, Cult Classic, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Nudity and Rules
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 10/24/24

Starring: People from low budget horror movies

Plot:

Ten teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Saying “Halloween” or “Trick or Treat”
  • Trendy 80’s things
  • Say “Creep” or “Creepy”

Quotes:

  • “Happy Halloween asshole!”
  • “Wow, bodacious boobs sis.”
  • “Do you guys have sour balls?… Too bad, I bet you don’t get many bjs.”
  • Q: “Do you guys want one?” A: “Ma, they look like sun dried poodle turds.”
  • “Captain dingleberry the flaming asshole of Transylvania.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Was that a Rainbow Bright costume?”
  • “Who is the star of this movie?  I hate all of these people.”

Things We Learned:

  • The noise, the stink, and the chill means that there’s a demon afoot.
  • You can eat a bunch of razor blades and not realize it until they’re in your throat.
  • Lipstick can be shoved into an unnatural spot.

Final Take:

Apparently, this movie has a cult following, and there were two sequels and a remake (with Shannon Elizabeth and Edward Furlong?!). I can see why. It’s cheesy 80’s trash, but there’s enough weirdness and humor here that adds a certain level of charm. Also, most movies of this pedigree I immediately forget about by the next day, but this one has a number of memorable moments.

There’s an infamous lipstick scene that even in 2024 is a bit of a shock to see. A fun fact is that when the actress went in to get the prosthetics done for it, she met the special effects artist, and they later married. Definitely a unique way to meet and adds some context to that scene.

For lovers of B Movie 80’s horror, I’d recommend it.

03
Oct
24

The Phantom Empire (1987)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Amazon women, Mutants, Nudity and Uncategorized

Viewing Date: 10/3/24

Starring: Ross Hagen, Jeffry Combs, Dawn Wildsmith

Plot: When a man-eating cave creature appears with a fortune in uncut diamonds around his neck, Dr. Chambers’ daughter Denae hires adventurers C & C Salvage to find the underground source of the gems. Accompanied by archeaological intern Andrew Paris, mineralogist Prof. Strock, and C&C’s scruffy owners Cort Eastman and Eddy Colchilde, Denea’s hopes of emerging from her famous father’s shadow become as remote as getting out of the caves alive! (via IMDB)

Rules

  • “R’lyeh”
  • Eddy is drinking, drunk or hungover
  • Eddy tips her hat or scratches her face with a gun
  • Terrible dinosaur scenes (stock footage)

Quotes

  • (viewer) “There are definitely swords in this.”
  • (viewer) “Is that a chemistry set?” “Yes- he’s making meth.” “Did they have meth in 1984?”
  • “What’s a matter? I’m trying to be your friend you piece of shit?”
  • “Come on. Move ass!”
  • (viewer) “I think she wants the shoo-shoo.”
  • (viewer) “Never look a gift cave girl in the mouth.”

What We Learned

  • You can plan a dangerous, underground expedition into monster-filled caverns in about an hour (that includes getting equipment
  • A decapitation by a monster (with eye witness) doesn’t really require any sort of investigation- but it does mean there is treasure!
  • As a treasure hunter, you must limit the number of people in your party
  • A small can of sterno can keep an expedition party warm all night
  • High iron content in caves affects batteries.

The Final Take

Hilariously bad, campy 80’s movie. Land of the Lost meets a space dominatrix meets a terrible script. Enjoy!

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