Date Watched: 6/6/19
Starring: Thee-Eyed Raven, Kobayashi, and dude from Altered Carbon
Plot:
A ruthless mercenary renounces violence after learning his soul is bound for hell. When a young girl is kidnapped and her family slain by a sorcerer’s murderous cult, he is forced to fight and seek his redemption slaying evil. (From IMDB)
Rules:
- Every time he’s unstoppable or kills two bad guys at once
- Say “Solomon Kane”
- Shows his scarred back
Quotes:
- “Silence you dogs”
- “Killing came easily to me”
- About not fighting anymore… “I may just have changed my mind about that.”
- “I was born here. I have no intention of going through the front gates.”
Viewer Quotes:
- “He didn’t know that with their black demon eyes these guys were possessed. He must have thought it was a Vitamin C deficiency.”
- “That’s a tough way to wake up from a hangover, being dragged through the mud to your own death.”
Things We Learned:
- Weird underground tunnels full of demons have already lit torches.
Final Take:
Surprisingly watchable. This movie comes up continuously in our Netflix searches, but we’ve never been down to watch it, as it looks like a terrible version of Van Helsing. (Van Helsing is already terrible in itself.) So, we gave it a shot, and we were pleasantly surprised. This had decent effects and acting, and we’d give it a positive recommendation.
Bad Movie Thursday 