Bad Movie Thursday

Date Watched: 6/6/19

Starring: Thee-Eyed Raven, Kobayashi, and dude from Altered Carbon

Plot:

A ruthless mercenary renounces violence after learning his soul is bound for hell. When a young girl is kidnapped and her family slain by a sorcerer’s murderous cult, he is forced to fight and seek his redemption slaying evil. (From IMDB)

Rules:

• Every time he’s unstoppable or kills two bad guys at once
• Say “Solomon Kane”
• Shows his scarred back

Quotes:

• “Silence you dogs”
• “Killing came easily to me”
• About not fighting anymore… “I may just have changed my mind about that.”
• “I was born here.  I have no intention of going through the front gates.”

Viewer Quotes:

• “He didn’t know that with their black demon eyes these guys were possessed.  He must have thought it was a Vitamin C deficiency.”
• “That’s a tough way to wake up from a hangover, being dragged through the mud to your own death.”

Things We Learned:

• Weird underground tunnels full of demons have already lit torches.

Final Take:

Surprisingly watchable.  This movie comes up continuously in our Netflix searches, but we’ve never been down to watch it, as it looks like a terrible version of Van Helsing.  (Van Helsing is already terrible in itself.)  So, we gave it a shot, and we were pleasantly surprised.  This had decent effects and acting, and we’d give it a positive recommendation.