Archive for the 'Gory' Category

02
Oct
25

Shiver Me Timbers (2025)

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Categories: Bad CGI, Gory, Murdered teenagers and Mutants
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Viewing Date: Oct 2, 2025

Starring: Amy Mackie, Brendan Nelson, Tony Greer, yeah, no one you would recognize.

Plot: In 1986 Northern California, Olive Oyl, her brother Castor and friends, go on a camping trip to see the meteor shower with Halley’s comet. But the night turns into horror as a meteor transforms Popeye, into a unstoppable killing machine. (via IMDB)

Rules

  • Popeye cliches (spinach, pipe, etc) (this sadly doesn’t really pay off)
  • Continuity errors
  • Night sky / meteors
  • Kids doin’ drugs
  • 80’s movie quotes and references

Quotes

  • “Someone killed Steve! They ripped off his head… and shit down his neck!”
  • “Here’s to your Willy Peter!”

What We Learned

  • There is a connection between Popeye and Halley’s Comet for some reason.
  • Don’t smoke meteorite rocks.
  • Indiscriminate meteorites are just as deadly as a psychopathic killer
  • You can use a meteorite to power a giant saw blade attached to your arm.

Final Take

Since Popeye recently entered the ‘public domain’ (anyone can freely use the character without copyright or trademark infringement), this is one of many horror movies released this year trying to capitalize on it. The issue I have with it is that it seems like the whole Popeye element seems to be shoehorned into an already existing idea / script about how the appearance of Haley’s Comet in the 80’s somehow resulted in horrific consequences. One of those consequences just happened to be transforming a sailor into a murderous freak with super strength, and the main heroine is named Olive Oyl. In the end, the Popeye element really wasn’t used to full potential and wasn’t even really necessary- but I suppose we wouldn’t have selected this movie otherwise. There were some ridiculous kills, and some funny scenes and dialogue, but the Popeye monster should have been more fun and leaned into some of the expected tropes associated with the classic character.

Here’s hoping the other exploitative Popeye movies are more entertaining.

19
Dec
24

Black Friday (2021)

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Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Knock-Offs, Mutants, Rules, Washed up actors and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 12/19/24

Starring: Devon Sawa (aka guy from Final Destination and Idle Hands but older now), Michael Jai White, Bruce Campbell, Ivana Baquero, Seth Green’s voice

Plot:

A group of toy store employees must protect each other from a horde of parasite infected shoppers.  (From IMDb)

Rules:

  • Jump scares
  • Say “Toys”
  • Say “Green Friday”

Quotes:

  • “Bathroom… I’m parking a Buick man.”
  • “No one gives a flying f$ck about your training or plaques Anita.”
  • “You park that Buick?”
  • “That’s some dark sh$t man.”
  • “My ears hurt from listening to Air Supply 50,000 times.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Didn’t that actor have a moment in Final Destination and Idle Hands?”
  • “Anita gets it (aka dies), and I couldn’t be happier.”
  • “I like Ruth.”

Things We Learned:

  • Washing your hands at work in a toy store is cause to be fired.
  • There’s always enough time to have one more beer.

Final Take:

Likable cast, decent, not super memorable. This one definitely isn’t a classic BMT, and I had to watch the trailer again on IMDB to even remember it. I think we enjoyed it for what it was, which is a bad holiday movie. I think they needed to add a bit more humor. I don’t have many quotes captured, and I don’t think I missed a lot. Bruce Campbell was good in a side role.

Fun Facts: This movie was based on a discarded 1994 Power Rangers script. Also, Seth Green randomly appears as a voice in this movie. He previously costarred with Devon Sawa in Idle Hands.

24
Oct
24

Night of the Demons (1988)

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Categories: Bad Movies, Cult Classic, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Nudity and Rules
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 10/24/24

Starring: People from low budget horror movies

Plot:

Ten teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Saying “Halloween” or “Trick or Treat”
  • Trendy 80’s things
  • Say “Creep” or “Creepy”

Quotes:

  • “Happy Halloween asshole!”
  • “Wow, bodacious boobs sis.”
  • “Do you guys have sour balls?… Too bad, I bet you don’t get many bjs.”
  • Q: “Do you guys want one?” A: “Ma, they look like sun dried poodle turds.”
  • “Captain dingleberry the flaming asshole of Transylvania.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Was that a Rainbow Bright costume?”
  • “Who is the star of this movie?  I hate all of these people.”

Things We Learned:

  • The noise, the stink, and the chill means that there’s a demon afoot.
  • You can eat a bunch of razor blades and not realize it until they’re in your throat.
  • Lipstick can be shoved into an unnatural spot.

Final Take:

Apparently, this movie has a cult following, and there were two sequels and a remake (with Shannon Elizabeth and Edward Furlong?!). I can see why. It’s cheesy 80’s trash, but there’s enough weirdness and humor here that adds a certain level of charm. Also, most movies of this pedigree I immediately forget about by the next day, but this one has a number of memorable moments.

There’s an infamous lipstick scene that even in 2024 is a bit of a shock to see. A fun fact is that when the actress went in to get the prosthetics done for it, she met the special effects artist, and they later married. Definitely a unique way to meet and adds some context to that scene.

For lovers of B Movie 80’s horror, I’d recommend it.

11
Jul
24

Dark Angel aka I Come in Peace (1990)

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Categories: Aliens, Bad Movies, Cult Classic, God Awful, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 7/11/24

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Brian Benben

Plot:

Jack Caine (Dolph Lundgren) is a Houston vice cop who’s forgotten the rule book. His self-appointed mission is to stop the illegal drugs trade and its number one supplier Victor Manning. Whilst involved in an undercover operation to entrap Manning, his partner gets killed, and a sinister newcomer enters the scene. Along with F.B.I. agent Lawrence Smith, the two investigate a spate of mysterious deaths; normal non-junkies dying of massive heroin overdoses and bearing the same horrific puncture marks on the forehead. This, coupled with Caine’s own evidence, indicates an alien force is present on the streets of Houston, killing and gathering stocks of a rare drug found only in the brain. Caine is used to fighting the toughest of criminals, but up to now they’ve all been human. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Says “I come in peace”
  • Christmas stuff
  • Dolph Lundgren counting
  • Anytime one cop is at odds with the other because one is by the book and the other is a loose cannon
  • Dolph Lundgren promises things or people talk about his promises

Quotes:                                                                                                    

  • Q: “What university did you attend?”… A: “The university of suck my d$ck.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Ron Fury, John Turtle, Jan Hammer… There’s a lot of fantastic names in this.”

Things We Learned:

  • A duck and roll is the best way to enter any building.
  • Dolph Lundgren never breaks a promise.
  • The best way to stop a CD that kills people is a speaker.

Final Take:

There’s a lot to like here from Dolph Lundgren to Brian Benben (from the TV Show “Dream On”). The movie’s setup with a drug dealing alien is ridiculously silly, as is his spinning CD that kills people. The movie is sometimes called “Dark Angel”, but in the U.S. it was named “I Come In Peace”. It should really be known as the latter, because it sets up one of the best final kill lines I’ve ever heard. (e.g., “Let off some steam” from Commando.)

04
Jan
24

Uncle Peckerhead (2020)

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Categories: Gory and Gratuitous Violence

Viewing Date: Jan 4, 2024

Starring: David Littleton, Chet Siegel, David Bluvband

Plot: The members of the band Duh (Judy, Max, and Mel) have all quit their jobs and are ready to embark on their first tour. The first roadblock on their journey is the fact that their van was repossessed. Desperate for a vehicle, the band placed flyers on every van in town asking to use it for their tour. One van is occupied by one Uncle Peckerhead (or “Peck” as he is known to his friends) who offers to drive the band and be their roadie. However, it turns out that Peck turns into a man-eating monster for thirteen minutes every night at midnight. (via Wikipedia)

Rules

  • Alliteration band names
  • “Roadie”
  • “Peckerhead”
  • Cassette tapes

Quotes

  • “I feel like we all need an Uncle Peckerhead in our lives”
  • “Be sure to piss and shit all over when you’re in there.” “Roger that!”
  • “Aren’t you afraid he could turn on one of us?” “He seems to have a system in place…”
  • “My mixes rules. Your mixes hunk.”

What We Learned

  • Demons can be good guys (until they aren’t)
  • Demons can get explosive diarrhea based on who they eat
  • The best way to find a van and/or roadie is just put flyers on cars
  • The best way to brush your teeth is with someone taking a shit next to you- and a courtesy flush.

Final Take

This movie was a nice little surprise. It had some decent acting with goofy character and some genuinely funny parts. Feels like a movie that my friends and I would have tried to make in high school, which I guess is a compliment.

12
Oct
23

Renfield (2023)

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Categories: Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Nic Cage and Rules
Tags: , ,

Date Watched: 10/12/23

Starring: Nic Cage, Nicholas Hoult

Plot:

Renfield, Dracula’s henchman and inmate at the lunatic asylum for decades, longs for a life away from the Count, his various demands, and all of the bloodshed that comes with them. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Gratuitous violence
  • Renfield eating bugs
  • Renfeld gets disembowled
  • References to ska
  • Every time they say “f%ck you” to Kyle

Quotes:

  • “Master are you ok?”  (As he’s burning) … “No”
  • “But he’s also really into ska.”
  • “I’ve got a prescription for this sh%t!”  (While carrying kilos of cocaine.)
  • “Doug is trash!”
  • “Can you order a number three?”… “The toilet just ordered a number two.”
  • “Did I watch you cut a guy’s arms off with a decorative serving platter?”
  • “Rebecca is this your boyfriend?”… “Shut the f%ck up Kyle!”
  • I don’t want your murder cookies.

Viewer Quotes:

  • “This is fantastic!”

Things We Learned:

Dracula’s blood heals people.  Just like health insurance.

Final Take:

This movie was a lot of fun. Everyone seemed to be in on the joke, and Nic Cage was great as always. I’m glad that they went for it with the over the top gore. It’s recommended.

31
Aug
23

Cocaine Bear (2023)

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Categories: Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , ,

Date Watched: 8/31/23

Starring: The cast of the Americans TV Show, young Han Solo, and Ray Liotta

Plot:

An oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converge on a Georgia forest where a huge black bear goes on a murderous rampage after unintentionally ingesting cocaine.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Mention cocaine or see cocaine
  • Bear superpowers
  • Dismemberment
  • Cool music is played
  • Say “waterfall”
  • Blatant 80’s product placement
  • Bear does cocaine

Quotes:

  • “No, don’t sh$t out here!”
  • “Let’s sell drugs together.”
  • “Your Dad has definitely done cocaine.”
  • “I know what the f$ck a gazebo is.”
  • “Getting stabbed sucks.”
  • “I have your fingers in my pocket.”
  • “A bear did cocaine, Dad!”

Viewer Quotes:

To Loki (the dog)… “Don’t bark at cocaine bear!”

Things We Learned:

  • Lizards are good listeners, but people are better at hearing.
  • Cocaine to a bear is like spinach to Popeye.

Final Take:

It’s initially slow and takes awhile to get going. Once it does, it almost goes over the top. The ambulance scene in particular was something else. I’d recommend it for those who can stomach it.

16
Sep
21

Warrior Queen (1987)

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Categories: Amazon women, Bad Movies, God Awful, Gory, Historical Fiction, Nudity, Rules and Well known actors slumming it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Date Watched: 9/16/21

Starring: Donald Pleasance

Plot: In ancient Pompeii, slaves are bought and sold for household chores and sex. A mysterious queen moves among the elite, while secretly helping the slaves to escape.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Anachronisms
  • Say “Pompeii”
  • Stupid long white fans (aka a Flabellum or Flabella for plural)
  • Volcanoes
  • Strange competitions

Quotes:

  • “Give me Money!”
  • “Have some pig, pig.”
  • “Veneria, you’ve become a pathetic old whore.”
  • “That’s my disgusting wife.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • After a guy gets his eyes poked out, “Bet he didn’t see that coming.”
  • “Gladiator totally ripped this off.”
  • “Veneria, is that like a venereal disease (in regards to the character’s name)?”

Things We Learned:

  • Men can keep their underwear on when they get hanged upside down but women cannot.
  • Romans did backwards arm wrestling with a poison spike.

Final Take:

This movie is a bit hard to rate.  On the one hand, it’s an absolute cinematic car crash worth seeing for its absolute ineptitude on every level.  We had no idea what was going on for most of the movie.  There was a Warrior Queen?  Really?  There were also several odd competitions like we were watching an early Roman addition of Survivor.  And, everything culminates into a virtual medley of stock footage volcanoes erupting.  The real problem with this movie (in terms of making it watchable as a BMT movie) is that it’s so mean spirited.  It’s not really fun, and I would highly recommend watching something like Deathstalker 2 instead that’s somewhat similar to this.

29
Oct
20

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

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Categories: Bad CGI, Bad Movies, Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Hillbillies, Murdered teenagers, Nudity, Revenge and Rules
Tags: , , ,

Date watched: 10/29/20

Starring: People who are in a lot of terrible movies.

Plot: A group of Christian teens visit the Happy Day Bible Camp, where in 1977 an earlier group of teens were punished for their sinful behavior by a sadistic nun. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • 70’s or 80’s references
  • References to sex
  • Closed Caption says “crickets chirping”
  • Character says “Sister Mary Chopper”

Quotes:

  • “We should probably go for guys that look like Jesus.”
  • “I’ll bet Sylvester Stallone has a big cannoli.”
  • “Back door’s always open for Jesus baby.”
  • “Bambi, you’re going to need to lick my rusty star fish.”
  • “Jesus, please take my sinful boner away!”

Viewer Quotes:

  • Question: “Whats going on?”  Response: “It’s 1977.”
  • “At bible camp they don’t really sing about licking nuts though.”
  • “That bush counts I think.”
  • “My grandmother called them Tallywackers.”
  • “Everybody just grab a loose weiner.”

Things we learned:

  • Kids at Bible Camp are actually in their 40’s.
  • Toothless inbreds don’t take kindly to out of towners.
  • Tad is rad.
  • Jesus is cool with wine coolers.

Final Take:

I personally was pretty fond of this movie, although I don’t know that the rest of the group liked it as much. It was funny and entertaining. According to IMDB, there is a sequel in the works, which I think would also make for a good BMT movie.

06
Jun
19

Solomon Kane (2009)

By badmoviethursday Leave a Comment
Categories: Gory, Gratuitous Violence, Knock-Offs, Revenge and Uncategorized

Solomon Kane Pic

Date Watched: 6/6/19

Starring: Thee-Eyed Raven, Kobayashi, and dude from Altered Carbon

Plot:

A ruthless mercenary renounces violence after learning his soul is bound for hell. When a young girl is kidnapped and her family slain by a sorcerer’s murderous cult, he is forced to fight and seek his redemption slaying evil. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Every time he’s unstoppable or kills two bad guys at once
  • Say “Solomon Kane”
  • Shows his scarred back

Quotes:

  • “Silence you dogs”
  • “Killing came easily to me”
  • About not fighting anymore… “I may just have changed my mind about that.”
  • “I was born here.  I have no intention of going through the front gates.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “He didn’t know that with their black demon eyes these guys were possessed.  He must have thought it was a Vitamin C deficiency.”
  • “That’s a tough way to wake up from a hangover, being dragged through the mud to your own death.”

Things We Learned:

  • Weird underground tunnels full of demons have already lit torches.

Final Take:

Surprisingly watchable.  This movie comes up continuously in our Netflix searches, but we’ve never been down to watch it, as it looks like a terrible version of Van Helsing.  (Van Helsing is already terrible in itself.)  So, we gave it a shot, and we were pleasantly surprised.  This had decent effects and acting, and we’d give it a positive recommendation.

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