Bad Movie Thursday

Date Watched: 9/16/21

Starring: Donald Pleasance

Plot: In ancient Pompeii, slaves are bought and sold for household chores and sex. A mysterious queen moves among the elite, while secretly helping the slaves to escape.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

• Anachronisms

• Say “Pompeii”

• Stupid long white fans (aka a Flabellum or Flabella for plural)

• Volcanoes

• Strange competitions

Quotes:

• “Give me Money!”

• “Have some pig, pig.”

• “Veneria, you’ve become a pathetic old whore.”

• “That’s my disgusting wife.”

Viewer Quotes:

• After a guy gets his eyes poked out, “Bet he didn’t see that coming.”

• “Gladiator totally ripped this off.”

• “Veneria, is that like a venereal disease (in regards to the character’s name)?”

Things We Learned:

• Men can keep their underwear on when they get hanged upside down but women cannot.

• Romans did backwards arm wrestling with a poison spike.

Final Take:

This movie is a bit hard to rate.  On the one hand, it’s an absolute cinematic car crash worth seeing for its absolute ineptitude on every level.  We had no idea what was going on for most of the movie.  There was a Warrior Queen?  Really?  There were also several odd competitions like we were watching an early Roman addition of Survivor.  And, everything culminates into a virtual medley of stock footage volcanoes erupting.  The real problem with this movie (in terms of making it watchable as a BMT movie) is that it’s so mean spirited.  It’s not really fun, and I would highly recommend watching something like Deathstalker 2 instead that’s somewhat similar to this.