Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: Sep 1, 2022

Starring: Neil Breen (of course)

Plot: A brilliant computer loner seizes Las Vegas and its terrorist attack, while fighting against his fits of clinical depression and obsession for romance and death.

Rules

• Stock footage (expert rule)
• Random human bones or skulls
• Eating Tuna
• Using laptops
• Humble Brag / Aaron Brand (Breen) reminding us what a genius he is.
• External exposition.
• Blood vials

Quotes

• “I’m an American! I’m an American! I love this country!”
• “I eat tuna out of the can and live out of my car.”
• “Electronic, satellite and computer skills….”
• “Don’t ask how I found you. I know everything- more than the government knows.”
• “That’s impossible, that can’t be…”

Viewer Quotes

• “I’m drinking for the double butts.”
• “Grandpa, do you want to be in a movie?”

What We Learned

• You can steal a car with a cellphone- if you’re a super genius.
• The best place to keep laptops is in the desert
• There are Anthrax dealers
• EVERYTHING is done electronically.
• Neil Breen can cure cancer (or maybe it is the fool’s gold)
• You get blood on your face when doing target practice

Final Take

Wow. This was a lot to unpack- and yet practically nothing. If it was possible for someone to rival the filmmaking madness of Tommy Wiseau (The Room), Neil Breen just might be the one. There really isn’t much in the way of a coherent plot- he is blackmailing governments so that he doesn’t unleash a biological attack on Las Vegas, or something. The movie continually goes back to similar scenes to Neil working on his multiple lap tops at a time, and he has a secret force fields, because… Just because.

There are several unrelated scenes and many characters that are only in one scene with no mention of them before or after. I don’t understand it, but then again I don’t understand how to control the stock market, control elections, or shut down power grids for entire city. These things are only understood by super geniuses like Neil Breen.