Posts Tagged ‘Cops

01
Jun
17

Kindergarten Cop 2 (2016)

kindergarten cop 2

Date Watched: 6/1/2017

Starring: Dolph Lundgren and Bill Bellamy

Plot: Assigned to recover sensitive stolen data, a gruff FBI agent goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher, but the school’s liberal, politically correct environment is more than he bargained for. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Say “pineapple”
  • Seattle/Tacoma landmarks
  • Kids say supposedly funny things

Quotes:

  • “What is this… pineapple?” (spoken in a Russian accent)
  • “This machine owes me a goddamn Twix bar.”
  • “I’m incredibly magnanimous.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “This is an awfully long set up for a movie that everyone knows exactly where it is going.”
  • “Of course the other kindergarten teacher looks like a pron star w/ glasses.”
  • “Is this supposed to be a comedy?”

Things We Learned:

  • The FBI headquarters looks exactly like a school.
  • The FBI works exactly like the local police precinct.
  • Dolph Lundgren stays in shape through line dancing.

Final Take:  It was ok.  It took way too long to get anywhere, and it had none of the charming crappiness or energy of the original.

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03
Apr
15

WolfCop

WolfCop

Date Watched: 4/2/15

Starring: Leo Fafard

Plot: As a series of strange and violent events start happening, an alcoholic policeman realizes that he has been turned into a werewolf as part of a larger plan, so he investigates with the help of his partner and his friend.

Rules

  • Turning into a wolf
  • Wolf puns
  • Every time Lou drinks
  • Werewolf cliches (Full Moon, silver bullet, etc.)
  • Woodhaven breaking news clips

Quotes

  • “In the wake of this tragedy, the drink and shoot is going to have to be canceled.”
  • “Two dead men in a bathroom?  If not for the excess of severed flesh I’d say lover’s quarrel.”
  • “Street name: see you in a fuckin’ week.”  –  “Jesus, Willie, that’s enough to drop a hippo.”
  • “Lou, you’re a wolf!.”  –  “Cop.”
  • “Lou, don’t forget to murder somebody else on the way to the car.  Low profile.”
  • “I know what you’re thinking, and I approve.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “For a second I thought that was Cory Feldman.”  –  “That would have been sweet.”
  • “Can’t get more Canadian than that…chewing and spitting into a metal cup while walking your dog in the snow.”  –  “And going down to Tim Horton’s to get a donut before heading to the rink.”
  • “Wouldn’t his uniform be all torn up?”
  • “What kind of a weird, sick bitch would be into that?”

What We Learned

  • Werewolves pee blood as they transform, copiously.
  • Werewolves’ clothes get repaired the same as their bodies after transforming back.
  • Werewolves like bourbon and donuts and playing Go Fish.
  • Werewolves can have intimate sex scenes
  • Changelings are good at fighting.

Final Take: