Viewing Date: May 1, 2025
Starring: Y.K Kim, Vincent Hirsch, Joseph Diamand, Maurice Smith
Plot: The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida’s narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song “Against the Ninja,” Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world’s smelliest underbelly. It’ll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can’t stop until they’ve completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the “stupid cocaine”…and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!! (via IMDB)
Rules
- Cocaine (use, references, nicknames: Coke, Bolivian marching powder, etc)
- Dismemberments
- “Dragon Sound”
- “Son of a Bitch”
- Any mentions of Taekwondo
- Musical performance
Quotes
- “They don’t make buns like those down at the bakery.”
- (Song lyrics): “Bikers by day, Ninjas by night- Steal your cocaine, steal your life!”
- (Song lyrics): “Friends through eternity, loyalty, honesty. We’ll stay together through thick or thin. Friends forever we’ll be together. We’re on top ’cause we play to win!!!”
- “I didn’t know you had a father, I thought we were all orphans”
- (Viewer quote): “You don’t take off the hood- it’s like a clan rally.”
What We Learned
- University of Central Florida is a hotbed for ninjas
- Music venues in Orlando have a limit of only one martial-arts-themed-band.
- The correct ratio of girlfriends to band members is 1:4
- Ninjas on motorcycles can’t be stopped.
- After hours at the gym consists of full contact Taekwondo in the dark, while wearing jeans
- White ninja robe = master
- If a friend has an unexpected and important life event, you are required to pool all of your money to buy him a suit.
- Don’t dine and dash if the restaurant owner is a Taekwondo master.
- U-Haul blankets are all you need for your bed if you’re a martial artist/rock star/college kid on a budget.
Final Take
I’m pretty sure we watched this at some point over the last 20 year, but we couldn’t find any record of it on the blog or pre-blog journal (lip log), so here we go again!
This is some quintessential Bad Movie Thursday stuff- a cult classic with a well earned reputation for absolute ridiculousness top to bottom. Where to start? We’re not even sure what the Miami Connection refers to. The movie takes place in Orlando, and the opening sequence of cocaine-stealing ninjas was the only part to take place in Miami. Why are the ninjas stealing cocaine? Well, to fund their ambiguous crime network of course! And the entire downfall of this criminal empire was caused by one member’s dislike for his college student sister’s boyfriend (who is actually a pretty wholesome guy). And let’s talk about the four “friends” the film centers around. Did they all grow up as orphans together? Maybe??? But they are roommates, bandmates, a taekwondo team, and most importantly, friends forever.
If I were to flag a single highlight of the movie, it is the phenomenal sound track and music performances in the movie. Dragon Sound deserves to be a real thing.
This is a great bad movie- definitely in the discussion to crack the top ten bad movies list.
Bad Movie Thursday 