Plot:
While the Civil War rages on, President Abraham Lincoln must undertake an even more daunting task – destroying the Confederate Undead. *Note – all undead are from the south.
Starring Sean Penn (allegedly)
Rules:
- “Operation Shanty”
- Decapitations
- “Mr. Brown”
- Historical figure references from out of nowhere.
Quotes:
- “Zombies?! That sounds like slave talk to me, sir!”
- “Emancipate this!”
Viewer Quotes:
- “Is that supposed to be Benjamin Franklin?”
- “Why is he the only one moving in slow motion?”
- “How are they going to get anywhere, walking like they’re walking?”
- “Why didn’t he bring soldiers instead of this troupe of gentlemen?”
- “Didn’t he tell these dudes what they were in for first?”
- “Is he really named Brown? Was this made in 2012?”
- “Bam! What can Brown do for you?”
- “Why is this guy being such a douche to Lincoln when he’s the one that’s been saving their bacon?”
- “Why didn’t he just jump to the side of that train? Why run along the tracks?”
- “Why do they keep leaving the fort? They just keep losing people every time they leave!”
- “I hear it went well? They lost almost everyone that went with them!”
- “Whores and no boobs? Come on…”
What We Learned:
- Abraham Lincoln led his own poorly run special missions with ill-informed untrained gentlemen.
- Lincoln’s mother was a zombie.
- Abraham Lincoln has poor taste in women and nearly married a whore.
- Abraham Lincoln always uses the back door.
- Teddy Roosevelt got the quote “Walk softly and carry a big stick” from Lincoln.
- People from the south are completely unreasonable. They will not even make peace with the north long enough to destroy the zombies in their fort.
- Every plan should involve ziplines.
Bad Movie Thursday 