Starring
????
Plot
A platoon of eagle & vultures attack the residence of a small town. Many people died. It’s not known what caused the flying menace to attack. Two people managed to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic? (editor’s note: this was copied from IMDB, spelling/grammatical errors and all.)
Rules
- Pecking of eyes
- Child predicts/points out danger and is hushed.
- Bird poop
- Imagine Peace
- “Hanging out with my family. Having ourselves a party.”
- CGI Muzzle flash
- “Eagle Attack”
- “Global Warming”
Quotes
- “I’m a fashion model.” – “And a pretty one at that!”
- “A date without sex is a date wasted, man.”
- “Besides, I love my mustang, which is a plug-in hybrid. It gets a hundred MPG.” (what?)
- “Oh! Lovers on the moon.”
- “The eagles killed Becky!”
- “No I’m sorry, you know. All phones are dead from the eagle attack. All phones are dead up here.”
- “Whoa! I hear a mountain lion. That’s my queue to go. Very nice to meet you.”
Viewer Quotes
- “Awful intro, so hard to sit through.”
- “You should have to waterfall through this whole terrible opening.”
- “Is this netflix stream quality or editing issues?”
- “Home video alert.”
- “This sound guy will never work in movies again.”
- “Why is everything tilted?”
- “Listen to this song. Is it a boy going out for his paper route? Sounds like an 80’s Christmas movie.”
- “If it was filmed in 2010, why does it look like 1992?”
- “See you then??? They didn’t even pick a time or a restaurant!”
- “Where the hell are the birds? Isn’t this movie about birds?”
- “This Rod guy needs a whole lot less camera time. Worst. Actor. Ever.”
- “Terrible fake birds. OMG. CGI Parrots.”
- “I guess they’re boyfriend and girlfriend, but it really looked like that guy paid for a massage.”
- “A plug-in hybrid mustang? Where’s this writer from?”
- “Are birds a metaphor for something else? Where are all the birds?”
- “I can’t believe this is on Netflix. Netflix has zero standards.”
- “Isn’t this guy a millionaire? And they’re in a no-tell motel? Come on.”
- “And now, an awkward diatribe on Global Warming by the old man on the bridge. “
- “Where should we go to get away from these birds? I know, away from the car and into the woods!”
What We Learned
- Birdemics are unwatchable and require 50 minutes of plot development before birds are introduced.
- Birds explode on impact.
- All birds sound like seagulls and can hover in midair.
- Eagles can cut our lines of communication.
- Ford makes a plug-in 100 MPG mustang hybrid.
- Hangers make the perfect weapon against rogue eagles.
- Eagles and vultures attack by hovering motionless in your face.
- Global Warming causes Bird Flu, Sars, and West Nile Virus, and will result in bird attacks.
- Eagles will sometimes announce their attack, and other times drop down and slit your throat with no warning.
- Gas goes for 100 bucks a gallon during birdemics.
- It all leads back to Global Warming.
- Some exploding eagles are duds.
Bad Movie Thursday 