Archive for October, 2024

24
Oct
24

Night of the Demons (1988)

Date Watched: 10/24/24

Starring: People from low budget horror movies

Plot:

Ten teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Saying “Halloween” or “Trick or Treat”
  • Trendy 80’s things
  • Say “Creep” or “Creepy”

Quotes:

  • “Happy Halloween asshole!”
  • “Wow, bodacious boobs sis.”
  • “Do you guys have sour balls?… Too bad, I bet you don’t get many bjs.”
  • Q: “Do you guys want one?” A: “Ma, they look like sun dried poodle turds.”
  • “Captain dingleberry the flaming asshole of Transylvania.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Was that a Rainbow Bright costume?”
  • “Who is the star of this movie?  I hate all of these people.”

Things We Learned:

  • The noise, the stink, and the chill means that there’s a demon afoot.
  • You can eat a bunch of razor blades and not realize it until they’re in your throat.
  • Lipstick can be shoved into an unnatural spot.

Final Take:

Apparently, this movie has a cult following, and there were two sequels and a remake (with Shannon Elizabeth and Edward Furlong?!). I can see why. It’s cheesy 80’s trash, but there’s enough weirdness and humor here that adds a certain level of charm. Also, most movies of this pedigree I immediately forget about by the next day, but this one has a number of memorable moments.

There’s an infamous lipstick scene that even in 2024 is a bit of a shock to see. A fun fact is that when the actress went in to get the prosthetics done for it, she met the special effects artist, and they later married. Definitely a unique way to meet and adds some context to that scene.

For lovers of B Movie 80’s horror, I’d recommend it.

03
Oct
24

The Phantom Empire (1987)

Viewing Date: 10/3/24

Starring: Ross Hagen, Jeffry Combs, Dawn Wildsmith

Plot: When a man-eating cave creature appears with a fortune in uncut diamonds around his neck, Dr. Chambers’ daughter Denae hires adventurers C & C Salvage to find the underground source of the gems. Accompanied by archeaological intern Andrew Paris, mineralogist Prof. Strock, and C&C’s scruffy owners Cort Eastman and Eddy Colchilde, Denea’s hopes of emerging from her famous father’s shadow become as remote as getting out of the caves alive! (via IMDB)

Rules

  • “R’lyeh”
  • Eddy is drinking, drunk or hungover
  • Eddy tips her hat or scratches her face with a gun
  • Terrible dinosaur scenes (stock footage)

Quotes

  • (viewer) “There are definitely swords in this.”
  • (viewer) “Is that a chemistry set?” “Yes- he’s making meth.” “Did they have meth in 1984?”
  • “What’s a matter? I’m trying to be your friend you piece of shit?”
  • “Come on. Move ass!”
  • (viewer) “I think she wants the shoo-shoo.”
  • (viewer) “Never look a gift cave girl in the mouth.”

What We Learned

  • You can plan a dangerous, underground expedition into monster-filled caverns in about an hour (that includes getting equipment
  • A decapitation by a monster (with eye witness) doesn’t really require any sort of investigation- but it does mean there is treasure!
  • As a treasure hunter, you must limit the number of people in your party
  • A small can of sterno can keep an expedition party warm all night
  • High iron content in caves affects batteries.

The Final Take

Hilariously bad, campy 80’s movie. Land of the Lost meets a space dominatrix meets a terrible script. Enjoy!




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