Archive for the 'Nazis' Category

27
Mar
15

Nazis at the center of the earth (2012)

Nazis

Viewing Date: 3/26/15

Plot:

Researchers in Antarctica are abducted by a team of masked storm troopers. They are dragged deep underground to a hidden continent in the center of the earth. Here Nazi survivors, their bodies a horrifying patchwork of decaying and regenerated flesh, are planning for the revival of the Third Reich. (From IMDB)

Starring:

Dominique Swain and Jake Busey

Rules:

  • Nazi clichés
  • Nazis dying
  • Faces getting ripped off
  • Every time blond chick runs

Quotes:

“What is wrong with you, you’re never squeamish?”  (After her friend’s brain has been ripped out and girl vomits.)

Viewer Quotes:

“So one guy has been delivering people to the Nazis for years to use as spare parts and nobody has noticed?”

“Where did he get that baseball?”

“That is the worst thing you can say to a Robo-Hitler.”

Things we learned:

  • To tear someone’s face off, you just need to cut them a little bit at the top of their head.
  • There are mountains and temples at the center of the earth.
  • It’s not cold at the center of the earth.
  • Nazis have UFO technology.

Final Take:

For a movie with great promise, it just doesn’t really deliver.  It goes to places that it shouldn’t go – zombie rape and abortion scenes – that make it mean spirited and take the fun out of it.  This should have just been over the top ridiculousness.  If you’re looking for a silly zombie Nazi movie, I would definitely check out “Dead Snow” instead.

04
Jan
13

Iron Sky

IronSky

Starring Finnish Germans

Date Watched 1/3/2o13 (we survived!)

Plot

Nazis secretly made their way to the moon, where they have been hiding out, biding their time.

Rules

  • Nazi cliches.
  • Nazis’ racist statements.
  • Palin’s stupid remarks.
  • “Furhrer”
  • “Fourth Reich”
  • “Adler”

Quotes

  • “Hey, Sauerkraut.  I like Sauerkraut!  And Volkswagen.  Fahrfegnugen!”
  • “I received confirmation from the department of racial purity…Science demands us to unite physically.”
  • “Either I’m black or you’re blind.”
  • “Do I look alright to you Ms Crazy Fucking nazi?”
  • “So, you are a formerly dead black model, who is now suddenly a living white hobo, after spending a weekend on the moon.  Is that correct?”
  • “Listen. Do you think if I asphyxiate the president, will the troops then align with us?”
  • “Get your hooks off me you kristallnacht piece of shit!”
  • “He fell for the old one last blowjob offer!  God, nazis are stupid.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Most of the quotable quotes are racist or in very poor taste.  Is it still ok to record them?”
  • “I think by the end of the movie they’re going to make us think of the nazis as the good guys somehow.”
  • “I have to tell the wife she missed three ‘fuhrers’ and a nazi racist quote.”
  • “Oh look, they have space zeppelins!”
  • “Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette.”
  • “Why doesn’t she just turn it?  She’s at the wheel!”

What We Learned

  • The germans reinvented USB while isolated on the moon, and happen to call it the same thing.
  • Medicine called Albiniser transforms black into white.
  • Nazis are doctors for the sick, vitamins for the anemic, and products of loving mothers and brave fathers.
  • Palin’s message comes from moon nazis.  Remember this, world!  Palin = Hitler!
  • To sneak past nazis, start up their battle hymn.
  • De-albiniser transforms white into black.

Final Take

Pretty high production values for a BMT movie, but still pretty campy. Not too shabby.  It was enjoyable, but difficult to come up with good rules.  I’d definitely recommend it but you should know that you’ll be getting a lot of anti-american political satire.  If you can get past that you’ll find a pretty decent b+ grade movie.




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