Posts Tagged ‘Awesome Sauce

13
Feb
15

Mantera

Mantera

Date Watched: 2/12/2015

Starring: Absolutely nobody

Plot: A 16 year old boy somehow ends up with a motorcycle that grants him the power to transform into an anime suited superhero.  After a couple of days of training he becomes an unstoppable force.  Will he lose to the dark legion, or will he overcome all odds and win the day?  He wins.

Rules

  • “Mantera” (House rule, but a good reminder)
  • Bad videogame CGI action sequences
  • Closeups of somebody’s eye(s)
  • Changing into Mantera

Quotes

  • “Colonel, why am I being held here.  I am a scientist.  I demand to know.  Who are you people and why am I being held captive?”  <with awkward pauses>
  • “The origin of mantera is the dawn of civilization.”
  • “Would you be interested in working with us, hand in hand, for the betterment of mankind, and the safety of this earth.”  – “I wouldn’t miss it … for the world.”
  • “He’s probably having fun with that sexy lady.”
  • “They must have employed vega from the megazoid division.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “That guy looks like Ron Jeremy with really long hair.”
  • “This CGI is straight out of the late 90’s.”
  • “They’re all going to the factory to make Adidas shoes.”
  • “I want a ‘Jumping Kids 1951’ shirt!”
  • “Does anyone on this bus want to be in a movie?” <how the movie was cast>
  • “Is his name Ass Man?”
  • “Did they just go through a star gate?”
  • “Dr. Claw is at it again.”

What We Learned

  • Mantera actions happen in cartoon world
  • Russians are given accents when dubbed over in foreign films.  Indonesians are not.
  • Beating a kid up with a bat is considered bullying in other parts of the world.  It is not that big of a deal apparently.
  • Being a computer programmer makes you pretty good at operating a robotic exosuit.
  • It only takes a couple days and a passable montage to learn martial arts.

Final Take: This is a foreign movie with ridiculous dubbed dialog that makes no sense,  The plot was hard to follow, the CGI action was worse than most video games made in the past 10 years, and the dialog probably sounded better in its native tongue.  Despite (because of?) all of that, it was fun to watch.  I hope they make a sequel.

23
May
12

Hobo With A Shotgun

Image

Starring

Rutger Hauer!!! (and a shotgun)

Plot

The name says it all.  A hobo uses a shotgun to rid the world of those filthier than himself.  One of the best and most quotable Thursday movies.  Don’t plan on being very productive the next day if you’re following the advanced rules.

Rules

  • “Hobo”
  • Cocking the shotgun
  • Hobo cliches
  • Hobo weapon upgrade
  • References to bears

Quotes

  • “Let it slide.” – “The only thing I’m going to let slide is my dick in your pussy!”
  • “How many people have you killed?” – “What am I, a mathematician?”
  • “I’m going to sleep in your bloody carcasses tonight.”
  • “When life gives you razor blades, you make a baseball bat out of razor blades.”
  • “She’s so hot, I’d eat the peanuts out of her shit!”
  • “Don’t shoot my dick off!  I got too much fucking left to do!”
  • “You can’t solve all the world’s problems with a shotgun.” – “It’s all I know.”
  • “Maybe you’ll end up like me, a hobo with a shotgun.”
  • “Get your hands off me, demons!  You’re crushing my smokes!”
  • “You and me are going on a car ride to hell.  You’re riding shotgun.”



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