Posts Tagged ‘Clumsy Robots

13
Feb
15

Mantera

Mantera

Date Watched: 2/12/2015

Starring: Absolutely nobody

Plot: A 16 year old boy somehow ends up with a motorcycle that grants him the power to transform into an anime suited superhero.  After a couple of days of training he becomes an unstoppable force.  Will he lose to the dark legion, or will he overcome all odds and win the day?  He wins.

Rules

  • “Mantera” (House rule, but a good reminder)
  • Bad videogame CGI action sequences
  • Closeups of somebody’s eye(s)
  • Changing into Mantera

Quotes

  • “Colonel, why am I being held here.  I am a scientist.  I demand to know.  Who are you people and why am I being held captive?”  <with awkward pauses>
  • “The origin of mantera is the dawn of civilization.”
  • “Would you be interested in working with us, hand in hand, for the betterment of mankind, and the safety of this earth.”  – “I wouldn’t miss it … for the world.”
  • “He’s probably having fun with that sexy lady.”
  • “They must have employed vega from the megazoid division.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “That guy looks like Ron Jeremy with really long hair.”
  • “This CGI is straight out of the late 90’s.”
  • “They’re all going to the factory to make Adidas shoes.”
  • “I want a ‘Jumping Kids 1951’ shirt!”
  • “Does anyone on this bus want to be in a movie?” <how the movie was cast>
  • “Is his name Ass Man?”
  • “Did they just go through a star gate?”
  • “Dr. Claw is at it again.”

What We Learned

  • Mantera actions happen in cartoon world
  • Russians are given accents when dubbed over in foreign films.  Indonesians are not.
  • Beating a kid up with a bat is considered bullying in other parts of the world.  It is not that big of a deal apparently.
  • Being a computer programmer makes you pretty good at operating a robotic exosuit.
  • It only takes a couple days and a passable montage to learn martial arts.

Final Take: This is a foreign movie with ridiculous dubbed dialog that makes no sense,  The plot was hard to follow, the CGI action was worse than most video games made in the past 10 years, and the dialog probably sounded better in its native tongue.  Despite (because of?) all of that, it was fun to watch.  I hope they make a sequel.

20
Jul
12

Solarbabies

Image

Starring: Jason Patric (from Speed 2: Cruise Control), potentially Cory Haim, dude from Heroes.

Plot: Something about an orb that can tell the future.  It’s post-apocalyptic and there are kids with roller skates.

Rules:

  • Skating across a bridge
  • Torture scenes
  • Skate jumping
  • “Orb”
  • “Scorpion”
  • “Bodai”

Quotes:

  • “Get out you creature of filth.”
  • “The owl…is it yours?” – “As much as an owl is anyone’s.”
  • “We wait.  We follow.  We got them all.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Uh Oh.  Here comes the skaters.”
  • “Why do they all have lights on their skates?” – “It’s more futuristic that way!”
  • “The guy from Cool-Hand Luke!
  • “Oh my god.  This guy’s got a falcon.”
  • “A good way to stop skaters is to not pave everything.”
  • “So he was deaf?  How come he can speak so well?”
  • “Bodai is the golden rule.  Every other word.”
  • “There’s not paved paths wherever you go out in the wild!”
  • “Whoa! Is that the uncle from the Adams’ Family?”

Things that we learned

  • The post-apocalyptic future is covered in paved walkways.
  • In the future, dogs wear head lamps.
  • The best way to get away from future cops is to put yourself in a tire and roll away.
  • Slow, clumsy robots aren’t very effective.
  • Bodai doesn’t leave, he’s always there.  Jesus?



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