Date Watched: 4/27/2017
Starring: Steven Seagal and the bad guy from “Kindergarten Cop”
Plot: In the not so distant future, society is controlled by the powerful State and a dictator known as the Director. Condor works as a hitman for the State, but a reunion with someone he thought was dead forces him to consider who his enemies really are. (From IMDB)
Rules:
- Seagal wearing stupid sunglasses
- Seagal taking off stupid sunglasses (2 drinks)
- Someone says “the State”
- Killing people with a single blow
Quotes:
- “They watch us through those things!” (Said as he shoots the TV.)
- “There he is, the legenadry Condor.”
Viewer Quotes:
- “I can’t tell who’s fighting who.”
- “It’s a good thing that woman just casually walked into the men’s bathroom.”
- “Once you make a man’s head explode, there’s no going back.”
- “I’m not sure what happened, but it seemed pretty stupid.”
Things We Learned:
- Strip clubs in the future have hula hoops and shiny things.
- The Bad Movie Thursday gang would rather go to dinner with Seagal over Van Damme, and Gary Busey over Seagal.
- Cardboard boxes offer great protection against bullets.
- Handsprings make you invulnerable to gunfire.
- When you’re on the run, your own home isn’t the best place to hide.
Final Take: Pretty forgettable, but the production value was decent, and it wasn’t boring. You could do a lot worse than this. I would say that hearing the word “Condor” over and over again made us wish that we were watching “Condorman” instead.
Bad Movie Thursday 