Bad Movie Thursday

Date Watched: 4/27/2017

Starring: Steven Seagal and the bad guy from “Kindergarten Cop”

Plot: In the not so distant future, society is controlled by the powerful State and a dictator known as the Director. Condor works as a hitman for the State, but a reunion with someone he thought was dead forces him to consider who his enemies really are.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

• Seagal wearing stupid sunglasses
• Seagal taking off stupid sunglasses (2 drinks)
• Someone says “the State”
• Killing people with a single blow

Quotes:

• “They watch us through those things!”  (Said as he shoots the TV.)
• “There he is, the legenadry Condor.”

Viewer Quotes:

• “I can’t tell who’s fighting who.”
• “It’s a good thing that woman just casually walked into the men’s bathroom.”
• “Once you make a man’s head explode, there’s no going back.”
• “I’m not sure what happened, but it seemed pretty stupid.”

Things We Learned:

• Strip clubs in the future have hula hoops and shiny things.
• The Bad Movie Thursday gang would rather go to dinner with Seagal over Van Damme, and Gary Busey over Seagal.
• Cardboard boxes offer great protection against bullets.
• Handsprings make you invulnerable to gunfire.
• When you’re on the run, your own home isn’t the best place to hide.

Final Take:  Pretty forgettable, but the production value was decent, and it wasn’t boring.  You could do a lot worse than this.  I would say that hearing the word “Condor” over and over again made us wish that we were watching “Condorman” instead.