27
Apr
17

The Perfect Weapon (2016)

Perfect Weapon

Date Watched: 4/27/2017

Starring: Steven Seagal and the bad guy from “Kindergarten Cop”

Plot: In the not so distant future, society is controlled by the powerful State and a dictator known as the Director. Condor works as a hitman for the State, but a reunion with someone he thought was dead forces him to consider who his enemies really are.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Seagal wearing stupid sunglasses
  • Seagal taking off stupid sunglasses (2 drinks)
  • Someone says “the State”
  • Killing people with a single blow

Quotes:

  • “They watch us through those things!”  (Said as he shoots the TV.)
  • “There he is, the legenadry Condor.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “I can’t tell who’s fighting who.”
  • “It’s a good thing that woman just casually walked into the men’s bathroom.”
  • “Once you make a man’s head explode, there’s no going back.”
  • “I’m not sure what happened, but it seemed pretty stupid.”

Things We Learned:

  • Strip clubs in the future have hula hoops and shiny things.
  • The Bad Movie Thursday gang would rather go to dinner with Seagal over Van Damme, and Gary Busey over Seagal.
  • Cardboard boxes offer great protection against bullets.
  • Handsprings make you invulnerable to gunfire.
  • When you’re on the run, your own home isn’t the best place to hide.

Final Take:  Pretty forgettable, but the production value was decent, and it wasn’t boring.  You could do a lot worse than this.  I would say that hearing the word “Condor” over and over again made us wish that we were watching “Condorman” instead.

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