12
Mar
21

Equalizer 2000

Date Watched: 03/11/2021

Starring: Richard Norton, Robert Patrick

Plot: A ruthless vehicular gang rules the post-apocalyptic wasteland. That’s until a muscled hero named Slade builds the ultimate machine gun – Equalizer 2000, and declares a one man war on the gang’s “piece of garbage” leader.

Rules

  • Sporting equipment used as armor
  • Shooting more bullets than you have in your gun.
  • Dropping references to things we haven’t heard of yet (“The Ownership”)
  • “Sand Chopper”
  • “The Ownership”
  • Richard Norton running down a rock hill.
  • Flamethrowers

Quotes

  • I want Slade and I want him now. (there are almost no quotable lines in this movie)
  • We can’t hold… we’re gonna have to pull out.
  • You’ll get a procedural endorsement for this!

Viewer Quotes

  • I don’t understand who’s fighting who.
  • There’s no quotes in this movie at all. – There’s no dialogue in this movie at all.
  • Any friend of Chuck Norris is a friend of mine!
  • Loosely tied. Kind of like how I tie things to the roof of my car.
  • Who is it that he hates, and why?
  • Oh, no, it’s the Mountain People! – Let’s get ’em!

Things We Learned

  • In the post-apocalyptic future, there is no shortage of bullets, but you can’t find food, water, or gas.
  • Richard Norton is really good at running downhill on uneven terrain.
  • Combining 6 guns together makes you completely unstoppable.

Final Take: A totally forgettable movie with an almost completely incomprehensible plot. They dropped you into the middle of this story with a grand battle between various warring factions, but no backstory to explain everything that’s going on. Bottom line, if you’re just interested in explosions and actions scenes, and don’t care about understanding the deeper plot, you might enjoy this.


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