12
Jul
14

Hellbinders (2009)

Hellbinders

Date Watched: 6/19/14

Starring: Darth Maul

Plot:

A supernatural battle for souls plays out on the streets with lots of guns and knives. (From IMDB)

Rules:

Weird comic book crap

References to the Knights Templar

People talking in a demon voice

Vomiting demons out of mouths or demon possession

Radical and/or knarly stunts

References to the devil

Quotes:

“Kill them all, that’s my motto anyway.”

“I didn’t come here for a lecture, priest.”

Viewer Quotes:

“Can you really tell when a Japanese actor is acting badly?”… “Yes, in this movie you can.”

“What is this?  Willy Wonka’s factory?”

“Who knew Darth Maul had such a potty mouth.”

“He kind of looks like the evil Jimmy Kimmel.”

“He keeps having pancakes w/ ketchup, that’s step one of his failure.”

Things We Learned:

White people become Japanese when they wear dark eyeliner.

It takes several days to paint a pentagram.

If you are in a coma you can lose your soul.

A cast full of stuntmen are not good actors.

Final Take:

Not a bad little movie with a cheap budget.  I don’t know why Darth Maul is slumming it in this movie, but I guess that’s what you get after starring with Jar Jar.  

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