Viewing Date: 7/10/14
Starring: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Mel Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Carlos Estevez
Plot: Machete kills a bunch of guys. Eventually he goes to space.
Rules
- Dismemberments
- “Machete” (better have a full drink or 5 ready for this rule)
- The “3D” sequences
- Machete refers to himself in third person
- Anytime something is shot out of boobs
Quotes
“Machete don’t tweet.”
“Peso pussy Tuesday…”
“Why help the US?” “Because I’m the only one who can.”
“How many of you are there?” “Sorry, that’s classified.”
“I just gotta say you are a genuine article, Genghis Khan level, high caliber, fucker-people-upper…”
“There’s only one Machete!!”
“I thought Machete don’t text.” “Machete loves everybody.”
“Oh baby, I always dress to the nines.” “I always dress to kill.”
“Machete happens.”
Viewer Quotes
“That was her mom?” (right before Machete said the same thing)
What we learned
- Electricity doesn’t hurt Machete
- Elon Musk is a madman who loves Machete
- Machete can breathe in space
- Machete knows the score
- Machete happens
Final Take
While still fun and entertaining, the camp was wearing thin by the end of this movie (almost 2 hours long). This movie was more of a James Bond spoof than the straight forward, over-the-top Mexsploitation revenge story from the first movie. Still a winner, but I hope if the next Machete is made, they keep it to an hour and a half or under.
Bad Movie Thursday 
0 Responses to “Machete Kills”