21
Feb
14

Bullet to the Head (2012)

Bullet to the Head

 

Viewing Date:  2/20/14

Starring:  Sylvester Stallone, Jason Momoa, Christian Slater

Plot:

In New Orleans, the hit men James Bonomo, a.k.a. Jimmy Bobo, and Louis Blanchard execute the dirty cop Hank Greely in a hotel room. But they are betrayed and Louis is stabbed in a bar by the mercenary Keegan while waiting for the payment of the contract. Meanwhile the Washington D.C. police detective Taylor Kwon comes to New Orleans to investigate the murder of Greely, who had stolen evidences from the Police Department. Soon he is shot by two dirty detectives but Jimmy saves his life. Jimmy brings Taylor to the shop of his daughter Lisa and she removes the bullet from his shoulder and nurses him. Taylor and Jimmy form the most unlikely partnership to investigate the crimes and after contacting the intermediate Ronnie Earl that had hired Jimmy and Louis, they discover a network of corruption formed by the lawyer Marcus Baptiste and the entrepreneur Robert Nkomo Morel. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Bullets to the head
  • Unnecessary flexing
  • Especially unintelligible dialogue
  • Breaking through stuff
  • Cats
  • Emphasis on tattoos
  • Say “Bobo”
  • Internal Monologues
  • Say “crescent city”

Quotes:

“Your choice, but make up your mind because my f@@king arm is getting tired.”

“Give him a band aid and a blow pop.”

“Rip it and zip it party boy.”

“When I want your opinion, I’ll buy you a brain.”

“Are we gonna fight, or are you going to bore me to death”

“What are we, f@@king Vikings?”

Viewer Quotes:

Question: “Do you think I could get away with walking into a bar and putting down a bottle of Bourbon and paying $25 for a glass”  Answer: “Maybe if you’re name is Bobo.”

“Christian Slater keeps making new shows, but they keep getting canceled.”

“This movie’s just going to pass us by, and we won’t remember anything about it.”

“I shot him, you’re welcome.”

Things we learned:

Stallone keeps awkward party masks on him at all times in order to fit in at naked lady costume parties.

Christian Slater talks toughs, but will fold after being hit once and give away any secret he has ever been told.

Stallone keeps his car wired to explode at all times.

New Orleans is the Crescent City.

Every cop is dirty in New Orleans.

Your safe house needs a trap door to be able to escape into the bayou.

Final take:

Two weeks from now we will have no clue what this movie was about.  I don’t know that I remember what this movie was about now.  I know that several people got shot in the head and that a couple of people had tattoos.  I think Stallone made several racially insensitive quotes about the Asian lead police officer, but I couldn’t really make out what he was saying, so I don’t know for sure.

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