Archive for June, 2023

29
Jun
23

The Book of Fire (2015)

Viewing Date: 6/29/23

Starring: Carmen Electra, Kyle Gass, Jason Mewes

Plot: The young Nina really just wants to celebrate her 19th birthday, but instead of party without end she is confronted with a terrible fate: She finds out that she is the descendant of the Byzantine ruler Justinian. The problem with this is the fact that the old Roman Fiesling has given his later descendant a cruel curse that will wipe out all humanity.

Rules

  • “Book of Fire” (just restating the house rule)
  • Cameos
  • Pitcher drinking
  • Fire or blood coming out of appliances
  • Walking through smoke
  • Otherworldly music (subtitles required)

Quotes

  • “There’s only 3 holes, what’ll I do?”

What We Learned

  • Justice came from the emperor Justinian, before he became evil.
  • Justinian was the father of the Black Plague
  • The Black Plague came from the Book of Fire
  • Special effects wizards can’t make good movies

Final Take

What do you get when a talented special effects artist thinks they can do everything else required to make a movie? This pile of garbage- but at least the effects are good!

08
Jun
23

Stewardess School (1986)

Date Watched: 6/8/22

Starring: Every character actor from the 80’s

Plot: The zany “stewdents” at a wacky flight attendants’ school have all sorts of wild and crazy high-flying adventures in this ’80s comedy. (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Wings
  • See the main character’s stupid glasses or references to poor vision
  • Slapstick crap

Quotes:

  • “You assholes just wiped out half of Los Angeles.”
  • After farting… “Man, I just got to lay off that pork fried rice.”
  • “How’d you like me to pull that little wee-wee off.”
  • “Do you want to play hide the salami?” After getting punched… “I guess a BJ is out of the question?”
  • “Fasten your seat belt, are you blind.” This was said to a group of blind people.
  • “BJ is two words.”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “It’s time for her to do her hair for her hat.”
  • “This is so stupid.”
  • About the guy wigging out… “That looks like me on a SW flight.”

Things We Learned:

  • The best way to get up a big stairway is by motorcycle.
  • They had sundae bars on airplanes in the 80’s.
  • The best way to stop a bomb on a plane is an ass.
  • Stewardesses have to go to school.

Final Take:

It feels like there was an Executive pitch meeting with an idea to combine Police Academy and Airplane! and make a movie. Deciding that this was a great idea, they started shooting the next day with any 80’s actors that happened to be around the studio. I have to say that they were right! This is a great piece of cinema. I thoroughly enjoyed the tremendous cast of random 80’s actors and slapstick stupidity.




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