29
May
15

Left Behind (2014)

Left Behind

Date Watched:  5/28/15

Starring:  Nic Cage, Lea Thompson, Chad Michael Murray, Jordan Sparks, Dude from Herman’s Head

Plot: A small group of survivors are left behind after millions of people suddenly vanish and the world is plunged into chaos and destruction.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Religious Preaching
  • Mentions of Jesus or the Bible

Quotes:

“If she’s going to run off with another man, why not Jesus?”

“I don’t know about passengers, but I do know this, there wasn’t anyone flying that plane.”

“What has happened to you?  You never talked like this before… about God.”

“Why should I listen to you?  You didn’t even listen to yourself!”

Viewer Quotes:

“Is that black person a midget too?”… “No, that’s just a little kid.”

“I used to have a crush on Lea Thompson circa “Back to the Future” and “Space Camp”.  Not anymore.”

“Have you ever seen “What Dreams May Come”?  Right now everyone is in a big crayon world.”

“This movie is awful, when is something going to happen?”

Things We Learned:

-People don’t take their clothes with them to Heaven.

-The first thing people do after the Rapture is to shoplift Starter jackets.

-Nic Cage is a sh$tty pilot.

-Some cell phones have a compass app that you can use to land a wayward airplane low on fuel.

Final Take:

This movie is a failure on all accounts.  It was fun to laugh at for part of it, but nothing really happens.  It was simply a bunch of people that I don’t care about trying to land a plane.  This is far and away the least interesting plane in peril movie I’ve ever seen.  Take “Red Eye”, “Flightplan”, even “Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal”, and you have more suspenseful action taking place.  The big reveal, an hour into the movie, is that the people disappeared due to the Rapture.  The movie is titled “Left Behind”, is based on a book, and is a re-make, so this is pretty f&ckin’ obvious to everyone but those sorry saps trapped in this movie.  Skip this movie, unless like us, you are a Nic Cage connoisseur.

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