Bad Movie Thursday

Date Watched: 5/21/2015

Starring: Nobody agreed to star in this movie

Plot: Beaver swamp turns into a deadly zombie epidemic.  This movie was created by coming up with a title and then filling in the remaining details.

Rules

• Beaver Attacks
• Sexual Innuendos (x2 for those that include “Beaver”)
• Sorority chick bitchery
• “Beaver” (Advanced Rule)

Quotes

• “My butt hurts.”  –  “Yeah, thanks to your boyfriend.”
• “Oh, it’s ok, Mary.  My daughter’s a total fucking bitch, too.  A real whore.  Sometimes she brings people home, I don’t even know what sex they are.  And I’m not saying anything negative about them, I’m a very liberal woman.  But my daughter is a real piece of work, and not that attractive.”
• “All I know is they’re fat rats with big stupid-ass teeth.”
• “I’ve never seen a beaver up close before.”  –  “Maybe you should try going down on me every once in a while, Buck.”
• “It’s just those kids scissoring each other to Lady Gaga.”
• “Oh Fuck!  Suck a bag of dicks!”
• “I’m sorry I never ate your pussy, baby!  I promise I’ll go back and eat all of it.  It just smells so bad down there.”
• “Listen, we cannot turn against each other right now.  That is exactly what the beavers want.”

Viewer Quotes

• “Those are nice outfits.  Those shorts are amazing.”
• “Who do you think is the first one to die?  Maybe the huge bitch?”
• “Which guy’s the biggest douche bag, I can’t even tell.”
• “He just held up his own foot.”
• “The beavers have taken out the phones!”
• “Why are the beavers staying outside the house?  Couldn’t they just chew through the wood?”

What We Learned

• Some sorority girls are just the worst.  Absolutely the worst.
• College guy’s apparently wear Letterman’s jackets now.
• Kids today have terrible tattoos.
• When being attacked by beavers in the water, throw a dog, then swim towards the farthest shore.
• Beavers get a lot smarter when they turn into zombies.
• If you get bitten by a zombeaver, you don’t turn into a zombie, you turn into a beaver zombie.  This also applies to Bears.
• Jealous ex-girlfriend zombeavers will bite your dick off.

Final Take: