Date Watched: 5/21/2015

Starring: Nobody agreed to star in this movie

Plot: Beaver swamp turns into a deadly zombie epidemic.  This movie was created by coming up with a title and then filling in the remaining details.


  • Beaver Attacks
  • Sexual Innuendos (x2 for those that include “Beaver”)
  • Sorority chick bitchery
  • “Beaver” (Advanced Rule)


  • “My butt hurts.”  –  “Yeah, thanks to your boyfriend.”
  • “Oh, it’s ok, Mary.  My daughter’s a total fucking bitch, too.  A real whore.  Sometimes she brings people home, I don’t even know what sex they are.  And I’m not saying anything negative about them, I’m a very liberal woman.  But my daughter is a real piece of work, and not that attractive.”
  • “All I know is they’re fat rats with big stupid-ass teeth.”
  • “I’ve never seen a beaver up close before.”  –  “Maybe you should try going down on me every once in a while, Buck.”
  • “It’s just those kids scissoring each other to Lady Gaga.”
  • “Oh Fuck!  Suck a bag of dicks!”
  • “I’m sorry I never ate your pussy, baby!  I promise I’ll go back and eat all of it.  It just smells so bad down there.”
  • “Listen, we cannot turn against each other right now.  That is exactly what the beavers want.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Those are nice outfits.  Those shorts are amazing.”
  • “Who do you think is the first one to die?  Maybe the huge bitch?”
  • “Which guy’s the biggest douche bag, I can’t even tell.”
  • “He just held up his own foot.”
  • “The beavers have taken out the phones!”
  • “Why are the beavers staying outside the house?  Couldn’t they just chew through the wood?”

What We Learned

  • Some sorority girls are just the worst.  Absolutely the worst.
  • College guy’s apparently wear Letterman’s jackets now.
  • Kids today have terrible tattoos.
  • When being attacked by beavers in the water, throw a dog, then swim towards the farthest shore.
  • Beavers get a lot smarter when they turn into zombies.
  • If you get bitten by a zombeaver, you don’t turn into a zombie, you turn into a beaver zombie.  This also applies to Bears.
  • Jealous ex-girlfriend zombeavers will bite your dick off.

Final Take:

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May 2015


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