Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 05/01/2014

Starring: Pamela Anderson Lee, a bunch of 90’s actors that we recognize, but don’t know their names, Clint Howard

Plot:

21st century. USA. The second civil war. The whole country is in a state of emergency. What was formerly called the American Congress now rules with fascistic methods. There is only one free city left, Steel Harbor, headquarter for the resistance. This is the hometown of Barb Wire, owner of the night club Hammerhead. As times aren’t good, Barb has a second job. She’s a bounty hunter and you probably wouldn’t want her after you. Barb’s credo is to never take sides for anybody and that’s the only way to survive these days. As her former lover Axel Hood appears asking for a favor, Barb suddenly finds herself to be key player on high political stage. Now she has to take sides…  (from IMDB)

Rules:

• Bad voiceovers
• Gratuitous boob shots
• “Steel Harbor”
• “Barb Wire”, “Wire” “Barb”
• Sleazy saxophone or guitar riffs
• Barb changes outfits or hairstyles

Quotes:

“Did you wash your hands?”  “No, I was bad.”

“That was nice kickin’.  You really know your stuff, babe.”

“Drink when you want to remember, not when you want to forget.”

“How utterly goddamn heroic.”

“I picked them up on the boulevard.” “I like a good manage every now and then.”

Viewer Quotes:

“Is that a hair change?”  “I’ll count it.”

“There’s nothing too inspiring about this movie.”

“It’s interesting to think that Boba Fett had sex with Barb Wire.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal- Big Fatso.”

What We Learned:

• Big Fatso is head of the underworld in the post apocalyptic future
• In the future they use whistles a lot
• In 2017 there is waterproof leather
• The exchange rate heavily favors the Canadian dollar in 2017
• Living in the only free city doesn’t mean a lot since the Congressional Republic seems to be able to do whatever they want there.
• Graham is quite the photographer
• Wheelies make you more effective in combat
• Corsets, leather and fishnets are standard dress in the future if you want people to take you seriously.

Final Take:

This movie shows up on a lot of “worst ever” lists for good reason.  Not memorable, terrible acting and paper thin plot.  Not even that much fun to watch, but at least it wasn’t completely boring.