27
Apr
14

Skeleton Man

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Viewing Date: 4/10/14

Starring: Michael Rooker, Casper Van Dien

Plot

A co-ed group of Special Forces agents search the wilderness for a predator type creature that has been on a killing spree.

Rules

  • Dismemberments, Cut off limbs
  • Screeching birds (this one really pays off)
  • Teleporting horse
  • Remember ‘creature vision’ is a house rule

Quotes

“There isn’t anything on Earth that could scare him.”  (in a wooden and laconic voice).

“I think I’ll drop back a piece.  Sniff around a little.”

“They call him Cotton Mouth Joe.”

“Whatever it was it fooled us.  It had our number- big time.”

“What was down there?”  “Don’t ever ask me that again.”

Viewer Quotes

“On yeah.  He’s a native American alright.”

“Where did he come from, where did he go…”

“Why would he be fishing at the top of a waterfall?”

“How many times have I seen the life go from Casper Van Dien’s eyes?…”  “Not enough.”

 

What we learned

There are ‘undercover’ search and rescue teams.  They dress just like normal hikers.

If you’re on a covert mission in the backwoods of California, you’d better have an underwater demolitions expert in your crew.

If guns, grenades and landmines don’t stop a supernatural killer, you might as well try a poorly-planned electricity trap.

Final Take

This movie was a poorly written, unintelligible mess, but you know what?  It had non-stop, nonsensical action and killing, so it was a winner in my book.  We had to rewind a number of sequences to try to figure out what the hell just happened, but ultimately, it really didn’t matter.  A guy dressed as the grim reaper, riding a teleporting horse was racking up an incredible body count for no particular reason (I think it had something to do with being an Indian spirit), makes no sense, but we were entertained.

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