11
Sep
20

Firestorm (1998)

Date Watched: 9/10/20

Starring: Howie Long, Scott Glenn, Suzy Amis, William Forsythe, Barry Pepper

Plot: Firefighter Jesse Graves has to save ornithologist Jennifer and other people caught in a forest fire, which was set up by the lawyer of convicted killer Earl Shaye, who escaped from the prison with several of his inmates posing as firefighters to recover thirty-seven million dollars in stashed loot.  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Say “smokejumpers” or “smokejump”
  • Fire puns
  • Say “shake and bake”
  • Every time Sherman does something dumb

Quotes:

  • “Stick it in there.  C’mon Belcher.”
  • “Whats wrong?  Take in a little smoke today?”
  • “I’m killing you.  It’s strictly a matter of mathematics.”
  • “Where do think they plan on running… to Burger King?”

Viewer quotes:

  • “I’m pretty sure that’s not how they do that.  (said about the smokejumpers)”
  • “Ah, you can still jump.”
  • “Which way should I go?  Oh, I know, away from the fire.”
  • “#MontanaKnowledge”

Things we learned:

  • Howie Long knows when a boat is about to explode just by looking at it.
  • You can have a giant knife in prison.
  • Ping pong balls are very flammable #MontanaKnowledge
  • Graham is a birder and Howie Long is not.
  • Female hostages are more valuable.
  • Setting a backfire can draw fire from a main fire. #MontanaKnowledge
  • Fire goes backwards in Canada.
  • Chainsaws will run without your finger on them.
  • Howie Long hates water.
  • Howie Long chews carefully.

Final Take:

It was fairly terrible and enjoyable to watch.  It’s basically a mash up of Backdraft and Cliffhanger, and it didn’t surprise us at all that Sylvester Stallone was attached to this at one point.  There’s not enough here to make it a classic BMT movie, but it was good for what it was.


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