Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 12/18/14

Plot:

St. Nicholas is a murderous bishop who kidnaps and murders children when there is a full moon on December 5th.

Starring: N/A

Rules:

Say “Saint Nick” or “Saint Nicolaus”

Mention December 5^th

Dutch Christmas things

Being killed by a ghost ship

Quotes :

“You’re just as much of a bitch as you are a best friend.”

“What, did his dick freeze to the light post or something?”

“Those Black Pete’s (guys in black face), what did they look like?”… “One looked like 50 Cent and the other looked like Will Smith.”

“Jesus, that’s dangerous man!”

“I’ve got a present for you.  I’ll do the unwrapping.”

Viewer Quotes:

“Two flashbacks to start a movie is not a good sign.”

Things We Learned:

-In Amsterdam it’s normal to not only receive gifts in class in high school, but to receive dildos as those gifts.  The teachers think nothing of it.

-Saint Nicolaus comes from Spain with a boat full of toys.

-In Amsterdam it’s a Christmas tradition to dress up in black face.

-Hot girls in Amsterdam are not actually hot.

-You can kill Saint Nick by blowing up his boat at midnight.

-Any children killed are just collateral damage in the war with Saint Nick.

-Saint Nick has an army of deadly Black Petes (guys in black face).

Final Take:

It wasn’t bad.  It could have been a lot more though.  We feel more cultured watching a foreign terrible Christmas movie.  It’s like a bad foreign version of Silent Night Deadly Night.  I would definitely recommend this for those looking for a Holiday terrible movie, but that would be about it.