17
Oct
14

Double Dragon (1994)

double_dragon

Date Watched: 10/16/14

Starring: Party of Five guy and the T1000

Plot: Two brothers have half of a powerful ancient Chinese talisman. An evil gang leader has the other half, and determines to get the brothers’ half and have a complete medallion so he can gain absolute power.

Rules

  • Saying Dragon, “Double Dragon” counts for two
  • Spin Kicks
  • “New Angeles”
  • “Butt Head”
  • Game references – game over, extra life, using a joystick, etc.
  • Knuckle cracking
  • Doing the double dragon fist bump.

Quotes

  • “Eat some fist, butt heads!”
  • “Once the medallions are mine, so then will be New Angeles”
  • “No one wants to party with Victor Guisman.”
  • “Lotus Flower, I’ve missed your sense of peasant justice.”
  • “This isn’t some stupid tournament.”
  • “I just want total domination over one major American city.  Is that too much to ask for?”
  • “We’re getting railed in broad daylight!”
  • “I’m sorry I had to kick your butt so bad”

Viewer Quotes

  • “They’re supposed to be brothers?  One them’s Asian and one’s White.”
  • “Is it racist to say this is the least intimidating gang I’ve ever seen because they’re just a bunch of white dudes in preppy clothes?”
  • “That thing is really poor at target acquisition”
  • “Look at the two of them rubbing it together.”
  • “It’s a good thing he’s got that rope to swing from wherever he goes.”
  • “Oh God, it’s like Chet from Weird Science.”

What We Learned

  • You can find out how much someone bench presses by looking up their license plate in future 2007.
  • Cars can run on burning paper in future 2007.
  • The best place to hide your most precious possession is around your neck in plain view.
  • The Hollywood River is flammable.  And there’s a Hollywood River.
  • Ghosts can be sucked into fans

Final Take

That was a mess.  It seemed like it was written by a 13 year old boy.  I just watched it a few minutes ago and I’ve already forgotten half of it.  The rules paid off in spades, so that was fun, but I don’t know if I would recommend it.  Pretty forgettable, as I’m sure Scott Wolf was hoping a year after he made it.

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