17
Jan
13

The Wicker Man

wickerman

Viewing Date: 1/10/2013

Starring: Nic Cage

Plot:

Nic Cage stars as a detective / highway patrolman who receives a letter from his ex-fiancée asking for help in locating her missing daughter on some island in the Puget Sound.  Nic heads straight there to unravel the mystery, and discovers that he is dealing with a Matriarchal, bee-loving cult that performs human sacrifices.

Rules:

  • Nic Cage in a costume
  • Bees (real, CGI or a picture of a bee)
  • Nic Cage’s mind plays tricks on him
  • Someone or something gets hit by a truck
  • Say “Willow”
  • Say “Summer’s Isle”
  • Nic Cage punches or kicks someone
  • Nic Cage acts crazy (advanced rule, since this could describe him the entire movie)

Quotes:

“What do you have in the bag?  A shark?”

“Was Rowan depressed?  Have you seen what she’s drawn under her desk?  Its pretty disturbing.”

“Take your stupid mask.”

“Step away from the bike!”

Viewer Quotes:

“Why do they all have blue eyes?”  “Because…  The Wicker Man.”

“Do they have electricity?”  “I don’t think so.  They’re pretty Amish.”

“Freeway Patrol.”

“I think you dodged a bullet here, Nicolas Cage.”

What We Learned:

There are cults living on islands in the Puget Sound, and they are out of the reach of all law and government.

There are underwater pools under graveyards.

Everyone was in on it!  Shocking!

Final Take:

What a disappointment.  For a movie that ranks as one of the worst of all time, it was indeed that terrible, but not in a good way.  More in a more-plot-holes-than-you-can-count, nonsensical way (don’t try to make sense of the “twist” ending unless you want to give yourself a headache).  On the plus side, Nic Cage acts like a complete maniac the entire movie, has some absurd dialogue and really goes off the deep end at the finish (“Oh no!  Not the Bees!”).  For a movie that is supposed to be creepy, it wasn’t, other than the stereotypical creepy blonde kids- and had nothing in the way of scares either.   The movie benefited from some decent drinking rules, but we often lost interest in what was actually happening until the last 15 minutes or so, when things got extremely ridiculous.  Our advice, avoid The Wicker Man, but if you happen to catch the end of the movie, it is worth watching just for some of the craziest Nic Cage ever captured on film.

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