Archive for the 'Nudity' Category



06
Sep
13

Ski School (1991)

ski school

Date: 9/5/13

Starring: Dean Cameron

Plot:

Rival ski instructors at a prestigious mountain school compete to save their jobs. The infamous “Section Eight”, a popular group of skiing partiers are up against some rich stiffs whose only thought is beating their arch rivals in the annual spring pageant (From IMDB).

Rules:

Ski jumping – sick air

Drinking

Whistler references

Say “Montana”

Awesome guitar riffs

People saying things at the same time

Crack a beer

Say “Party”

Quotes:

“Level  8?  What is this lawn bowling?  Cmon’!!!.”

“This is not my film, my men are not homosexuals.”

“That Champaign, it looks expensive.”

“Way to make that homo stuff work for us.”

“Ed, it’s not how far you go, it’s how go you far.”

“I’ve lost far too many brain cells to understand that one.”

“Anybody got a problem with that?  …no? …. Then let’s get naked!”

Viewer Quotes:

“The guy from Montana is the dreamiest guy, just like in real life.”

“He really can’t tell that’s a dude?”

“She’s playing twister by herself?”

Things we learned:

It’s totally cool to use a grappling hook to take out fellow skiers on the course.

You can talk to people in their sleep and they’ll do whatever you say.

You can run a ski school, and you don’t even need to teach anybody anything.

If you are ever disqualified from a race, just bring a lot of beer and you’ll get back in.

The best skiers wear neon.

Final thoughts:

It was quite enjoyable.  Very nonsensical late 80’s/early 90’s movie, where it comes to down to some silly ski race to decide who takes the mountain, even though it really doesn’t matter at all.  The person who buys the mountain would have done so either way.  It was a perfect movie for 13 year olds – boobs, ski jumps, and partying.  I greatly look forward to the sequel.  Peyton Manning threw for 7 TD’s tonight, but I’d much rather watch this movie.

09
Aug
13

Executive Target (1997)

Executive Target

Date Watched: 8/8/13

Starring: Michael Madsen, Angie Everhart, Roy Scheider, Keith David

Plot:

A stunt driver (Michael Madsen) heading for prison on a minor charge is freed against his will by a terrorist gang. Then by kidnapping his wife, he is forced to drive a getaway car in a plot to kidnap the President from a motorcade. (From IMDB)

 

Rules:

-Airborne Cars

-Every time Angie Everhart says f%ck

-Car crash

-Michael Madsen adjusts his sunglasses

-Keith David wears a different sweater vest or says ass

 

Quotes:

“You’re Evil Knievil to us now muther  f%cker, now move!”

“What the hell is this… the Batcave.”

“Now do your job Mr. Stuntman and lose these assholes.”

“How can you do this… you’re an American.”

To a woman: “Now tell me that doesn’t  give you a hard on.”

 

Viewer Quotes:

“Michael Madsen is good.  He can walk around the streets of LA in a full orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs and avoid detection.”

“He had the whole world in his hand being a Hollywood stunt driver.”

“I’m scared when Keith David asks me to play a game.  I hope it doesn’t involve ass-to-ass.”

“Just because he’s good at racing cars means he’s good at model cars.”

“I’m sure there’s nothing that a stunt driver likes more than an automatic transmission.”

 

What we learned:

Bad guys have partners just like cops that they have for years and care about.

Car crashes through camper tops are much cooler than normal.

The A-Team van is not only used by the A-Team, but also by washed up convict stuntmen for bank heists.

Angie Everhart stopped being hot sometime before 1997.

Top secret area “55” is somewhere in Los Angeles.

Evil bad guy generals can get off in situations where the movie just needs to end w/o a resolution.

Even in a make believe movie, Michael Madsen will get caught with an 18 year old girl and a bag full of blow.

 

Final Take:

There are some movies that are unforgettable like Star Wars or the Godfather, and there are some movies that you forget immediately after watching them like Captain America or Nottinghill, and then there are a few that you forget while actually watching them like Executive Target.  I think we were watching a movie about a bank heist?  And then there’s Roy Scheider  schlubbing as a do gooder President and an evil general?  Is this the same movie?  I think I missed something when I reached for another beer.

This movie sports an impressive budget and a number of explosions and flying cars, so I really can’t complain that much.  I just have no final take and no memory of even watching the movie.

18
May
13

Rottweiler

220px-Brian-Yuzna-Rottweiler

Date Watched:  5/16/2013

Starring:  A guy that looks vaguely like Sawyer from Lost, Zeus the Rottweiler

Plot: In 2018, a prisoner escapes into the Spanish countryside, trying to get back to Puerto Angel to find his girlfriend.  Unfortunately for him, he is being pursued by a cyborg rottweiler that kills everything and everyone the prisoner comes in contact with.

Rules

  • Slow motion
  • The Dog’s mouth makes knife noises when it opens and closes.
  • Scorpions
  • Hallucinations
  • The rottweiler kills someone or something
  • *Remember to use standing house rule of “creature vision”*

Movie Quotes

“The old witch doctor thinks the fog is evil.  He has eaten too many mushrooms.”

“You’ll never find her–  that bitch.”

Viewer Quotes:

“That guy has a face problem.”

“There’s a lot of wang shots here.”  “Wang and side balls.”

“The thicker the skin, the sweeter the flesh.”  (from Adam’s creepy dream- not really related to the movie)

“All three together.  Like a happy family.”

What We Learned

  • In Spain women will rape escaped prisoners
  • In the future there is a game called ‘Infiltration’ where you try to immigrate illegally.  Super Fun.
  • Cyborg rottweilers are particularly adept at disposing of guns.
  • When Escaping from prison, its a good idea to climb the highest mountain you can find, then get drunk and high with drug dealers.

Final Take

We enjoyed this movie for something we randomly stumbled across in the free movies on Comcast on demand.  Special effects and gore were decently done and the rottweiler flying through the air to attack people was hilarious.  I liked that the writers and director tried to incorporate a twist-ish ending that sort of worked, but I really wanted to know where the hell the cyborg dog came from.  I mean, I get it that the main character originally smashed the teeth out of and probably killed the warden’s dog with a lead pipe after it killed his girlfriend, but who exactly had the technology or means to convert it into the terminator of dogs?  I also found it interesting that the dog was really the only ‘futuristic’ thing in this movie- but it doesn’t pay to over think the movies we watch on Thursdays.




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