Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 6/14/18

Plot: Cole (Judah Lewis) loves his babysitter (Samara Weaving) Bee. She’s hot, funny, and popular. One night, in a moment of defiance, Cole secretly stays up past his bedtime to discover she’s actually a cold-blooded killer who’s in league with the Devil. He now must spend his night evading Bee’s band of killers who will stop at nothing to prevent Cole from spilling their dark secret. It’s up to Cole to survive the night (and blow up a few people along the way).

Starring: Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, directed by McG

Rules:

• Cole gets scared
• Remote control cars

Quotes:

• “My dad let’s me drink Mike’s all the time.”  “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard.”
• “Oh my God.  I got Sacrifice Samuel all over me.”
• “Look at him.  He’s still cutting the rope.”
• “What kind of dick shoots a girl in the boob?!”
• “Did you just blow up Sonja?”  “No.”  “I’m not mad, just a little surprised.”
• “What happened?!”  “I don’t need a babysitter anymore.”

What We Learned

• If you still need a babysitter at 13, you probably deserve something to go horribly wrong.
• Sacrifice Samuel should have known better.
• Knowing police walkie-talkie codes will get rid of all police suspicion, even when a reported homicide is involved.
• What we didn’t learn: Why did Max go shirtless practically the entire movie?
• When all else fails, steal a car and drive it into a house.

Final Take

This was way better than it had any right to be- great Thursday night movie with the right mix of gore, absurdity, and humor.  I think McG has found his wheelhouse: horror-comedy with low expectations.