26
Feb
15

Division III: Football’s Finest (2011)

Division III

Date Watched:  2/19/15

Starring:  Andy Dick

Plot: This ensemble comedy follows the Pullham University Bluecocks, a small liberal arts college with a Division III football program (the lowest division in the NCAA). When the head coach unexpectedly dies, the future of the flailing football program is in jeopardy, as they have not had a winning season in decades. In a desperate attempt to create some media attention for the athletic program and the university, President Georgia Anne Whistler hires known lunatic and felon, Coach Rick Vice, for what could be the football programs final season. Vice, an overly aggressive redneck racist, quickly becomes the team’s and athletic director’s worst nightmare. Vice especially butts heads with Mitch DePrima, a reluctant quarterback who was drawn to the college thinking he would play ball as a big fish in a small pond, only to find himself riding the bench in his final year. Navigating between an insane coach, meat-head teammates, his male cheerleader roommate and the sexy new sports trainer, Mitch struggles to find himself. But Vices particular brand of unorthodox coaching, may just be the spark that Mitch and the entire team need to turn the program around and become winners!  (From IMDB)

Rules:

  • Say “Rick Vice”
  • Double Entendre’s
  • Cameos
  • Shooting guns
  • Coach abuses his players
  • Coach says “Get Some”
  • Not lighting a cigarette
  • Bike throwing

Quotes:

  • “It’s like black history month all the time.”
  • “I was abused sexually and otherwise.”
  • “If you don’t pick up the pace, I’m going to rip off your little peckers and shove them up your mother’s hot pockets, little f$ck and f$cks.”
  • “This world is run by greedy self-serving morons.”
  • “Why don’t you step up into the gauntlet you bitch nuts.”
  • “I don’t care if you like slits or dicks, the best player is playing.”
  • To the hot girl – “You got any raisins? How about a date?”
  • “What the f$ck are you doing out there? Having a little sewing circle?”
  • “You’ll be all be up to your poop shoots and blood and guts in Iran soon anyway.”
  • “You’re whining more than Mike Vick’s puppy.”
  • “I’ve heard of Sigmund Freud, cause he’s the one that f$cked his mother.”
  • “Hello Roy, how long you been sitting there eyeballing and assf$cking me?”

Viewer Quotes:

  • “Wow, this whole movie is like one big awesome quote.”
  • “Are all the college players in this in their 30’s?”
  • “Is he drinking from a coffee mug with Hitler on it that says “Fail!”?”

Things we learned:

  • Andy Dick is an amazing filmmaker.
  • You can snort protein powder like cocaine.

Final Take:  This was a great flick filled with many awesome lines from AD.  We had a great time watching it, and we would definitely recommend Division III to others.  If you are easily offended then this is not the movie for you, but then again Bad Movie Thursday probably isn’t either.

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